1
00:00:11,439 --> 00:00:14,039
Oh. Take a shot!

2
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:25,719
Hi, Mischa.

3
00:00:25,719 --> 00:00:27,749
Hey.

4
00:00:37,629 --> 00:00:41,169
Woo hoo!

5
00:00:41,169 --> 00:00:44,709
Now, where is she?

6
00:00:44,709 --> 00:00:47,309
What are you doing?

7
00:00:47,309 --> 00:00:50,049
Capturing your beauty.

8
00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:51,579
Put that thing away.

9
00:00:51,579 --> 00:00:53,379
You know I hate being on camera.

10
00:00:53,379 --> 00:00:55,419
All right.
All right.

11
00:00:55,419 --> 00:00:58,149
Losing my virginity in college
is embarrassing enough.

12
00:00:58,149 --> 00:01:00,489
I don't need you
videotaping the whole thing.

13
00:01:00,489 --> 00:01:04,329
Well, I wanted to record our love.

14
00:01:04,329 --> 00:01:07,299
Well, record it in your mind.

15
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,459
Get down.
You're embarrassing me.

16
00:01:37,459 --> 00:01:38,429
Whoa!

17
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:51,409
What are you doing?

18
00:01:51,409 --> 00:01:54,279
I should be asking you the same thing.

19
00:01:54,279 --> 00:01:58,849
I knew you wanted to be an
actress but Alexis, porn?

20
00:01:58,849 --> 00:02:01,579
You loser!

21
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,819
Ow!

22
00:02:07,389 --> 00:02:10,289
Oh, your timing was impeccable.

23
00:02:10,289 --> 00:02:12,575
Could you imagine what he
could've done with that tape?

24
00:02:12,659 --> 00:02:14,559
Yeah.

25
00:02:14,559 --> 00:02:17,199
If only he didn't see
that right hook coming.

26
00:02:17,199 --> 00:02:18,869
That was priceless.

27
00:02:18,869 --> 00:02:21,699
Whatever happened with DJ boy?

28
00:02:21,699 --> 00:02:23,909
Who cares?

29
00:02:23,909 --> 00:02:25,795
Everything would be
fine except for the fact

30
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:29,309
that my mom is so lonely she's
calling me every two minutes.

31
00:02:29,309 --> 00:02:30,565
I don't even know what to say to her.

32
00:02:30,649 --> 00:02:31,695
Have you heard from your dad at all?

33
00:02:31,779 --> 00:02:33,679
No.

34
00:02:33,679 --> 00:02:37,789
I'm probably the last person
he wants to talk to right now.

35
00:02:37,789 --> 00:02:42,189
I'm screwed. I can't get
any guy to love me.

36
00:02:42,189 --> 00:02:44,529
You look like an asshole.

37
00:02:44,529 --> 00:02:45,699
Will you love me?

38
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:50,329
College guys are such losers.

39
00:02:50,329 --> 00:02:52,269
I can't wait to get out of here.

40
00:02:52,269 --> 00:02:54,699
I'm so sick of being stuck in school.

41
00:02:54,699 --> 00:02:57,869
One day we're gonna be free.

42
00:02:57,869 --> 00:03:00,239
The sun's gonna be on our skin.

43
00:03:00,239 --> 00:03:02,849
The wind in our hair.

44
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:06,779
It's gonna be awesome.

45
00:03:06,779 --> 00:03:09,449
It's gonna be awesome!

46
00:03:34,909 --> 00:03:38,379
I think it's time we update the list.

47
00:03:38,379 --> 00:03:40,349
Oh, no.
The list?

48
00:03:40,349 --> 00:03:42,319
You still have that thing?

49
00:03:42,319 --> 00:03:43,969
I haven't seen that since college.

50
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,619
My numbers have probably doubled.

51
00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:51,559
Okay. Jesse.

52
00:03:53,229 --> 00:03:54,559
What's with men today?

53
00:03:54,559 --> 00:03:55,885
You sleep with them once
and then all of a sudden

54
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,599
they lose all respect for you.

55
00:03:57,599 --> 00:04:00,599
It's another sign of
the end of civilization.

56
00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:01,885
It's like what that Freud dude said.

57
00:04:01,969 --> 00:04:05,239
Men look for women who
are like their mothers.

58
00:04:05,239 --> 00:04:06,779
Well, I am sick of men,

59
00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:09,279
and I am sick of all these momma's boys.

60
00:04:09,279 --> 00:04:14,779
Hey, dude.
We need to tally up.

61
00:04:14,779 --> 00:04:16,449
No.

62
00:04:16,449 --> 00:04:18,889
Yes. You have to face
the truth sooner or later.

63
00:04:18,889 --> 00:04:20,919
No, look.

64
00:04:20,919 --> 00:04:24,289
Is that your dad in a pimped out 'Vette?

65
00:04:25,629 --> 00:04:28,699
- Alexis?
- Dad?

66
00:04:28,699 --> 00:04:30,429
Hey.

67
00:04:30,429 --> 00:04:32,029
Um, I just wanted you to know

68
00:04:32,029 --> 00:04:33,385
I'm gonna leave town for a few weeks.

69
00:04:33,469 --> 00:04:34,939
I left your mother.

70
00:04:34,939 --> 00:04:36,325
I don't think we love each other anymore,

71
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:37,955
and I wanted to tell you in person.

72
00:04:38,039 --> 00:04:39,279
Is this a joke?

73
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,709
No. No.

74
00:04:40,709 --> 00:04:42,525
I--I realized my life's at least half over,

75
00:04:42,609 --> 00:04:45,349
and I met something that's
really, really into me.

76
00:04:45,349 --> 00:04:49,889
Baby? I can't find my sunglasses.

77
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,749
Oh.

78
00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,519
Hi, Big Sexy.

79
00:04:53,519 --> 00:04:56,059
Mwah, mwah, mwah.

80
00:04:56,059 --> 00:04:58,589
Did your mom ever call me Big Sexy? No.

81
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,659
You left Mom this morning

82
00:05:00,659 --> 00:05:02,945
and already you're going
out of town with this bimbo?

83
00:05:03,029 --> 00:05:07,339
Yeah. It's awesome, isn't it?

84
00:05:07,339 --> 00:05:09,469
Alexis, I have heard so much about you,

85
00:05:09,469 --> 00:05:11,769
about how you're a famous actress.

86
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,839
Hey, Harold.
How's it...

87
00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:15,649
Oh.

88
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,049
Hi.

89
00:05:17,049 --> 00:05:19,549
- Linds.
- Shari Slutter.

90
00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:20,949
Oh, my God.

91
00:05:20,949 --> 00:05:22,689
I haven't you since high school.

92
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,649
Yes, I'm Shari Sutter!

93
00:05:24,649 --> 00:05:27,559
You're dating someone younger
than your own daughter?

94
00:05:27,559 --> 00:05:29,689
Dad, what are you thinking?

95
00:05:29,689 --> 00:05:33,629
It's a miracle?

96
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,785
Okay, we gotta rock.
We got a plane to catch.

97
00:05:37,869 --> 00:05:39,999
So, money. Hug.

98
00:05:41,639 --> 00:05:43,339
All right.
I got a cell phone.

99
00:05:43,339 --> 00:05:46,079
So if there's an emergency
feel free to call.

100
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,779
You girls stay out of trouble or...

101
00:05:47,779 --> 00:05:51,379
- Bye.
- Bye.

102
00:05:51,379 --> 00:05:53,749
God, is she into me or what?

103
00:05:55,719 --> 00:05:57,519
I am so mad right now.

104
00:05:57,519 --> 00:05:58,959
I'm crawling out of my skin.

105
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,789
He just tried to buy me off,

106
00:06:00,789 --> 00:06:02,545
and then he's going out
of town with some tramp

107
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:03,505
from our high school?

108
00:06:03,589 --> 00:06:05,729
This is so wrong!

109
00:06:05,729 --> 00:06:07,829
Shari Slutter.

110
00:06:07,829 --> 00:06:09,069
I can't believe it.

111
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,699
I need revenge.

112
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:15,499
Welcome to the horrifying realization

113
00:06:15,499 --> 00:06:18,509
that your dad is just another horny dude.

114
00:06:18,509 --> 00:06:20,109
Ugh.

115
00:06:20,109 --> 00:06:22,379
But she was really into him.

116
00:06:22,379 --> 00:06:23,549
Ew!

117
00:06:27,619 --> 00:06:29,989
Is that your phone?

118
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,919
It sounds like
God is calling.

119
00:06:31,919 --> 00:06:33,649
Oh.

120
00:06:35,459 --> 00:06:37,459
- Hello?
- Hello.

121
00:06:37,459 --> 00:06:38,789
Lexie?

122
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,459
It's Maxie.

123
00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:41,815
Are you sitting down?
Are you lying down?

124
00:06:41,899 --> 00:06:44,529
Because I got huge news.

125
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:48,739
I just got a call from Hertz Waters' office

126
00:06:48,739 --> 00:06:52,009
and they want you to come
in to read for the lead

127
00:06:52,009 --> 00:06:54,609
in their brand new thriller
sci-fi comedy whatever.

128
00:06:54,609 --> 00:06:56,079
This is it, baby.

129
00:06:56,079 --> 00:06:59,119
This could be the break
you've been waiting for.

130
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:02,489
They want to see you today
at the studio at four o'clock.

131
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:03,519
Today?

132
00:07:03,519 --> 00:07:04,849
You're gonna be great.

133
00:07:04,849 --> 00:07:06,959
I love you, doll.
Knock 'em dead.

134
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:09,759
Yeah. Could you give me
a little color this time?

135
00:07:09,759 --> 00:07:12,629
Ooh, yeah.
That's masculine.

136
00:07:12,629 --> 00:07:15,459
Call me Hertz Waters.

137
00:07:15,459 --> 00:07:17,015
Well, it's nice to finally
meet you in person.

138
00:07:17,099 --> 00:07:18,999
Very nice to meet you in person.

139
00:07:18,999 --> 00:07:20,639
Wonderful.

140
00:07:20,639 --> 00:07:22,169
That looks fantastic.

141
00:07:22,169 --> 00:07:24,939
I love bottles.
Don't you?

142
00:07:24,939 --> 00:07:28,079
Yes.

143
00:07:28,079 --> 00:07:30,609
Is that it?
Is that all I get?

144
00:07:30,609 --> 00:07:31,609
Just to taste, sir.

145
00:07:31,609 --> 00:07:33,079
Oh.

146
00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,459
It's terrible.
Take it away.

147
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:41,805
Get it out of here.
Send it back.

148
00:07:41,889 --> 00:07:43,759
I'm terribly sorry, sir.

149
00:07:43,759 --> 00:07:45,045
I'll have the sommelier fetch
another bottle from our cellar.

150
00:07:45,129 --> 00:07:46,759
Yes. Please.

151
00:07:46,759 --> 00:07:49,629
- Was it really that bad?
- I don't know.

152
00:07:49,629 --> 00:07:50,799
I don't drink alcohol.

153
00:07:50,799 --> 00:07:52,569
Oh.

154
00:07:52,569 --> 00:07:53,899
So are we ready to order?

155
00:07:53,899 --> 00:07:55,909
Yes. I think we are.
Are you ready?

156
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,709
Yeah.

157
00:07:57,709 --> 00:08:00,579
- What would you like?
- Oh, okay.

158
00:08:00,579 --> 00:08:02,609
Go ahead.

159
00:08:02,609 --> 00:08:04,749
- I–
- Anything.

160
00:08:04,749 --> 00:08:07,649
Don't let me stop you.

161
00:08:07,649 --> 00:08:08,795
Have you looked at the menu?

162
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,149
Uh, uh-huh.

163
00:08:10,149 --> 00:08:11,735
You can choose anything on the menu.

164
00:08:11,819 --> 00:08:13,519
She can choose anything.
Right?

165
00:08:13,519 --> 00:08:14,719
Yes, sir.

166
00:08:16,189 --> 00:08:19,759
I--

167
00:08:21,559 --> 00:08:27,139
I'd like to have the filet
of sole and escargot.

168
00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:28,539
And for you, Mr. Waters?

169
00:08:28,539 --> 00:08:30,069
Nothing for me, thank you.

170
00:08:30,069 --> 00:08:31,085
- Very well, sir.
- Thank you.

171
00:08:31,169 --> 00:08:32,809
You're not having anything?

172
00:08:32,809 --> 00:08:36,249
No, I had a big pizza before I got here.

173
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:41,739
Anyway, a toast to
the star of my next film.

174
00:08:47,859 --> 00:08:49,859
Sorry.

175
00:08:49,859 --> 00:08:53,229
You know, I have a lot
of pull in this town.

176
00:08:53,229 --> 00:08:55,099
Meetings. Networking.

177
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:56,529
I'm on the phone a lot.

178
00:08:56,529 --> 00:08:58,699
I watch a great deal of television.

179
00:08:58,699 --> 00:09:00,639
I could make things happen to you.

180
00:09:00,639 --> 00:09:03,569
Oops. For you.
Very fast.

181
00:09:03,569 --> 00:09:05,709
You've got a lot of talent,

182
00:09:05,709 --> 00:09:09,049
and I've gotta say, you have a great rack.

183
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,549
Uh, that's crude.

184
00:09:11,549 --> 00:09:13,035
Do you know– Let's not
talk about your breasts.

185
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,679
Unless you want to.

186
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,189
Do you want to talk about your breasts?

187
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:19,119
Oh, well, the escargot is here.

188
00:09:19,119 --> 00:09:20,719
Escargot always reminds me

189
00:09:20,719 --> 00:09:23,159
of that scene in "Pretty Woman" when she...

190
00:09:23,159 --> 00:09:24,759
Oh.

191
00:09:24,759 --> 00:09:27,015
"Pretty Woman." You're gonna
have to refresh me.

192
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:28,745
What is that, Pixar?
Is that a snail musical?

193
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,169
No.

194
00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:31,485
Anyway. I'm gonna get to the point.

195
00:09:33,769 --> 00:09:39,679
You know, I see a very
bright future for you, um--

196
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:43,749
- Alexis?
- Alexis. Thank you.

197
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:47,049
I see a very bright future for you, Alexis.

198
00:09:47,049 --> 00:09:49,589
I have a little office nearby.

199
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,019
I've got the script in there.

200
00:09:51,019 --> 00:09:53,859
I'm just itching to get you onboard.

201
00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:55,059
Let's go.

202
00:09:55,059 --> 00:09:56,889
But I haven't finished my meal.

203
00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:58,605
Oh, that's all right.
I already had pizza.

204
00:09:58,689 --> 00:09:59,959
Oh.

205
00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:01,175
Oh, what about your meal, Madame?

206
00:10:01,259 --> 00:10:03,129
Uh, put it on her tab.

207
00:10:03,129 --> 00:10:05,839
Thank you.

208
00:10:21,849 --> 00:10:25,019
Ooh. Donnie.

209
00:10:25,019 --> 00:10:26,219
Nice.

210
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,309
Alexis Bell, you're next!

211
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,009
Uh-huh.

212
00:11:04,129 --> 00:11:05,929
I'll– I'll call you back.

213
00:11:05,929 --> 00:11:07,789
Good luck.

214
00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:11,869
Miss Bell?

215
00:11:11,869 --> 00:11:16,339
The scene is you're the
wealthiest little debutante

216
00:11:16,339 --> 00:11:17,939
in America, okay,

217
00:11:17,939 --> 00:11:21,279
and you are performing a sultry,

218
00:11:21,279 --> 00:11:26,119
sexy ass dance in front of the
wealthiest men in the world.

219
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,419
Okay? You with me?

220
00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:30,419
Your motivation?
Your greed.

221
00:11:30,419 --> 00:11:31,905
Your vanity has gone to your head,

222
00:11:31,989 --> 00:11:34,359
and, sweetie, you will do anything you can

223
00:11:34,359 --> 00:11:36,329
to keep your ass in the Versace.

224
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:39,729
You're basically like
a crack ho without the crack.

225
00:11:39,729 --> 00:11:41,159
Gold digger.

226
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:44,169
You're ready, sweetie?
Don't blow this.

227
00:11:44,169 --> 00:11:46,315
You, you have one opportunity.
Donnie, hit it.

228
00:12:08,259 --> 00:12:10,459
Yeah? What do you think?

229
00:12:10,459 --> 00:12:12,719
Mmm, I'd tap that ass.

230
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,259
Oh.

231
00:12:21,169 --> 00:12:22,139
Okay.

232
00:12:30,179 --> 00:12:33,779
Rowr. Grr.

233
00:12:36,919 --> 00:12:39,919
Climb the pole.

234
00:12:39,919 --> 00:12:41,789
Higher. Higher.

235
00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:47,299
Perfect!

236
00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,269
Woo, I think we got ourselves a star.

237
00:12:50,799 --> 00:12:53,299
Good job.
Okay, sweetie?

238
00:12:53,299 --> 00:12:55,255
I'm gonna want you to take
your little panties off.

239
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,885
I want to see how the, uh, you know,

240
00:12:56,969 --> 00:12:58,185
how the lawn has been trimmed.

241
00:12:58,269 --> 00:13:01,509
See if the carpet matches the drapes. Huh.

242
00:13:01,509 --> 00:13:03,109
Do we have a "V"?

243
00:13:03,109 --> 00:13:06,149
Is it the "V", the landing
strip, or nothing at all?

244
00:13:06,149 --> 00:13:08,849
Or did you get one of those afro vaginas?

245
00:13:08,849 --> 00:13:10,489
I, I don't think
I can do that.

246
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:12,549
Um, can I get my clothes back, please?

247
00:13:12,549 --> 00:13:14,359
That's too bad,

248
00:13:14,359 --> 00:13:19,159
because we really thought that
you were perfect for this role.

249
00:13:19,159 --> 00:13:22,029
Your agent said you would do
just about anything

250
00:13:22,029 --> 00:13:24,299
for a starring role,

251
00:13:24,299 --> 00:13:27,339
and that's the type of person
this character is.

252
00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:29,839
She would do anything
for an offer like this.

253
00:13:29,839 --> 00:13:34,209
Anything!

254
00:13:34,209 --> 00:13:37,849
Well?

255
00:13:37,849 --> 00:13:40,219
You know what?

256
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:41,919
I got an idea.

257
00:13:41,919 --> 00:13:44,589
How about you two bozos get up here,

258
00:13:44,589 --> 00:13:47,389
drop trou, and let's see
who has the better offer.

259
00:13:47,389 --> 00:13:49,829
- Okay.
- No! No.

260
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,959
I was just kidding.

261
00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:55,099
You're through!

262
00:13:55,099 --> 00:13:56,815
Never work in this town again.

263
00:13:56,899 --> 00:13:58,229
I know, Donnie.

264
00:13:58,229 --> 00:14:01,039
You will never work in this town again.

265
00:14:01,039 --> 00:14:01,939
You're nothing!

266
00:14:01,939 --> 00:14:03,309
You're through!

267
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:05,209
Yummy.

268
00:14:10,109 --> 00:14:11,579
This isn't a cigarette!

269
00:14:22,059 --> 00:14:26,359
♪ Baby, I see you walking
in your blonde hair ♪

270
00:14:26,359 --> 00:14:28,959
♪ And black boots ♪

271
00:14:28,959 --> 00:14:32,199
♪ Looking like a rodeo clown ♪

272
00:14:32,199 --> 00:14:34,439
What are you doing in my house?

273
00:14:34,439 --> 00:14:37,299
Get out of my house!

274
00:14:45,149 --> 00:14:46,879
Woo-hoo!

275
00:14:46,879 --> 00:14:48,519
- Hello, Lexie!
- Hey, Jesse.

276
00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:49,649
What's up, man?

277
00:14:49,649 --> 00:14:51,519
You're home.

278
00:14:51,519 --> 00:14:55,019
There was this crazy
snowboard convention downtown,

279
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,889
so I totally thought
that I'd throw you a party.

280
00:14:57,889 --> 00:15:01,999
I'd get you wasted so you'd
forget about all your troubles.

281
00:15:01,999 --> 00:15:05,599
I made my best batch of liquid crack ever.

282
00:15:05,599 --> 00:15:08,139
What the hell were you thinking, Lindsay?

283
00:15:08,139 --> 00:15:09,969
I know.
I know.

284
00:15:09,969 --> 00:15:11,529
Come with me.

285
00:15:15,209 --> 00:15:17,679
I'm gonna get you laid tonight, Alexis.

286
00:15:17,679 --> 00:15:19,249
Don't you mess this up for me.

287
00:15:19,249 --> 00:15:20,579
Oh, no, thank you.

288
00:15:20,579 --> 00:15:22,165
I don't wanna see who
you hooked me up with.

289
00:15:22,249 --> 00:15:25,319
Okie dokie,
Mrs. Hasn't-Been-Laid.

290
00:15:25,319 --> 00:15:27,589
Hey! That's my weed!

291
00:15:27,589 --> 00:15:29,929
Oh, we'll get you some more.

292
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,989
Just relax.

293
00:15:31,989 --> 00:15:33,345
Is smells like patchouli in there.

294
00:15:33,429 --> 00:15:35,589
Hippies.

295
00:15:36,999 --> 00:15:38,499
Alex.

296
00:15:38,499 --> 00:15:40,399
Welcome home.
You need a drink?

297
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:42,485
Marcus, I can see you're
making yourself at home

298
00:15:42,569 --> 00:15:44,269
in my kitchen again.

299
00:15:44,269 --> 00:15:46,239
I guess I am just a guy

300
00:15:46,239 --> 00:15:48,579
who embraces his feminine side.

301
00:15:48,579 --> 00:15:52,649
No surprise there.

302
00:15:52,649 --> 00:15:53,949
Oh!

303
00:15:53,949 --> 00:15:55,649
Oh, no.

304
00:15:55,649 --> 00:15:57,605
I guess we're gonna have to
get you out of those clothes.

305
00:15:57,689 --> 00:16:00,119
- Come here, sweetheart.
- Butterfingers.

306
00:16:00,119 --> 00:16:01,219
Stop touching me.

307
00:16:01,219 --> 00:16:03,329
What up, dog?

308
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:05,959
Damn, Alexis.
You're looking good tonight.

309
00:16:05,959 --> 00:16:08,559
- Babe?
- Get off of me.

310
00:16:08,559 --> 00:16:10,169
We're going to the garage.

311
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,999
- No.
- You can't go out there.

312
00:16:12,999 --> 00:16:14,115
Why? What's in the garage?

313
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:37,659
Lacy's giving Kendra the smack down.

314
00:16:37,659 --> 00:16:40,499
One! Two! Three!
She's down!

315
00:16:45,229 --> 00:16:47,069
Oh.

316
00:16:47,069 --> 00:16:50,109
Jesse, um, could you see if

317
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:54,039
Lindsay has any extra crop tops
or tube tops I could borrow.

318
00:16:54,039 --> 00:16:56,179
Mine's totally ruined.

319
00:16:56,179 --> 00:16:58,479
Oh, Lacy?

320
00:16:58,479 --> 00:17:01,249
Does your mom know that you're a whore?

321
00:17:01,249 --> 00:17:03,389
No. Wait.

322
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:06,259
Yeah. Whatever.

323
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,319
Your man wants a piece of this.

324
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,229
You rag.

325
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:12,259
That's it! I'm sick of you

326
00:17:12,259 --> 00:17:16,229
and all your snowboarding diva crowd.

327
00:17:16,229 --> 00:17:20,669
- It's on!
- Let's get dirty!

328
00:17:20,669 --> 00:17:23,309
That's it!
Party's over!

329
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,709
Everyone out of my house!

330
00:17:32,409 --> 00:17:34,149
What? Is there a problem?

331
00:17:34,149 --> 00:17:35,719
Sorry to bother you so late,

332
00:17:35,719 --> 00:17:37,465
but apparently there's
been some noise complaints

333
00:17:37,549 --> 00:17:39,089
from your neighbors.

334
00:17:39,089 --> 00:17:40,319
Bullshit.

335
00:17:40,319 --> 00:17:42,189
- Excuse me?
- That's a lie!

336
00:17:42,189 --> 00:17:45,089
I know it for a fact because
all my neighbors are here.

337
00:17:49,129 --> 00:17:51,215
You know, I could arrest you
for obstruction of justice.

338
00:17:51,299 --> 00:17:53,715
I'd like to see you try and
explain that one to your mom,

339
00:17:53,799 --> 00:17:55,069
Bobby.

340
00:17:55,069 --> 00:17:56,669
We broke up six months ago.

341
00:17:56,669 --> 00:18:00,339
It's time for you to move on.

342
00:18:00,339 --> 00:18:02,495
I was hoping maybe we could
work something out, you know?

343
00:18:02,579 --> 00:18:04,379
Go see a hockey game together.

344
00:18:04,379 --> 00:18:08,819
I brought you some milk.

345
00:18:08,819 --> 00:18:11,449
You got regular milk?

346
00:18:11,449 --> 00:18:14,089
Bread? I told you.

347
00:18:14,089 --> 00:18:16,819
We didn't need any more bread.

348
00:18:36,509 --> 00:18:38,749
What happened?

349
00:18:38,749 --> 00:18:41,749
That dingle berry
Jesse knocked you out.

350
00:18:41,749 --> 00:18:43,719
Jell-O wrestling?
Seriously, Linds?

351
00:18:43,719 --> 00:18:46,249
What were you thinking?

352
00:18:46,249 --> 00:18:48,289
It sounded like a good idea at the time.

353
00:18:52,759 --> 00:18:55,899
Uh, I thought she was you.
The shirt says Lindsay.

354
00:18:55,899 --> 00:18:58,729
Oops. Bye.

355
00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:01,899
No.

356
00:19:01,899 --> 00:19:03,669
He wouldn't.

357
00:19:03,669 --> 00:19:05,609
Okay.

358
00:19:05,609 --> 00:19:07,739
Holler if you need anything.

359
00:19:07,739 --> 00:19:11,679
I love you, Alex.

360
00:19:11,679 --> 00:19:12,649
I know.

361
00:19:40,909 --> 00:19:44,249
You top it off with a hot dog in the bun?

362
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:46,649
Would you like a little mustard with that?

363
00:19:46,649 --> 00:19:48,719
Unbelievable.

364
00:19:48,719 --> 00:19:50,519
Come on.
Can't we talk about this?

365
00:19:50,519 --> 00:19:53,509
Hit the road, Jack.

366
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,569
Morning, Miss Sunshine.

367
00:20:09,569 --> 00:20:11,309
Look at this.

368
00:20:11,309 --> 00:20:14,879
Those hippies raided my stash,
no thanks to you.

369
00:20:14,879 --> 00:20:16,779
I know. I know.

370
00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:19,819
It was a bad idea.
I'm sorry.

371
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:23,589
Well, now we gotta go
to Evan's shop and re-up.

372
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:27,319
I've got the worst headache ever.

373
00:20:41,869 --> 00:20:42,899
Back so soon?

374
00:20:42,899 --> 00:20:45,969
- Yep.
- All right.

375
00:20:45,969 --> 00:20:50,439
You ladies can step inside now.

376
00:21:01,559 --> 00:21:05,429
Ah, It's the Barbie Twins.
Welcome.

377
00:21:05,429 --> 00:21:09,559
Ooh, Alexis, your aura
seems very intense today.

378
00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:10,769
You feeling all right?

379
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,599
I need my medicine.

380
00:21:12,599 --> 00:21:14,269
It's an emergency.

381
00:21:14,269 --> 00:21:18,009
You smoked the entire ounce already?

382
00:21:18,009 --> 00:21:20,709
Praise Jah!

383
00:21:20,709 --> 00:21:22,379
Well, you ladies are in luck

384
00:21:22,379 --> 00:21:25,949
because we just got these
new strains in today.

385
00:21:25,949 --> 00:21:28,719
- Welcome to my paradise.
- Whoa.

386
00:21:28,719 --> 00:21:30,719
I'll take a quarter of the Topanga OG

387
00:21:30,719 --> 00:21:32,789
and a quarter of the PK Ultra.

388
00:21:32,789 --> 00:21:34,789
Ah, a taste of paradise.

389
00:21:34,789 --> 00:21:36,729
- Travis.
- What's up, man?

390
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,389
How's my ninja?

391
00:21:38,389 --> 00:21:39,729
Evan, dude.

392
00:21:39,729 --> 00:21:41,729
Shay, man.
Good to see ya.

393
00:21:41,729 --> 00:21:43,699
What's up, man?
What you got here?

394
00:21:43,699 --> 00:21:45,729
I didn't know you kept such fine company.

395
00:21:45,729 --> 00:21:50,039
Ah, say hello to my
angels Lindsay and Alexis.

396
00:21:50,039 --> 00:21:51,609
Hello angels.

397
00:21:51,609 --> 00:21:52,939
Hey.

398
00:21:52,939 --> 00:21:54,779
So what you all doin' tonight?

399
00:21:54,779 --> 00:21:56,895
You gotta come to our show.
My crew's performing.

400
00:21:56,979 --> 00:21:59,379
Oh. Cool.

401
00:21:59,379 --> 00:22:00,719
Yeah, we'll be there.

402
00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:03,519
All the information is on the flyer.

403
00:22:03,519 --> 00:22:04,889
Doors open at nine p.m.

404
00:22:04,889 --> 00:22:07,519
We'll see you there.
All right?

405
00:22:15,559 --> 00:22:18,399
I'm okay.
I can't see.

406
00:22:18,399 --> 00:22:19,699
Dude, open your eyes, man.

407
00:23:38,109 --> 00:23:41,819
I'm gonna go and get us some drinks.

408
00:23:41,819 --> 00:23:43,919
Okay.

409
00:23:43,919 --> 00:23:45,989
Oh, don't look now,

410
00:23:45,989 --> 00:23:49,979
but there's some fine
male specimen over there.

411
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,459
Okay, that'll be thirty-two seventy-five.

412
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,619
For two drinks?

413
00:24:22,619 --> 00:24:24,749
Yea, and that doesn't include tip either.

414
00:24:30,999 --> 00:24:32,899
Oh, no you didn't.

415
00:24:32,899 --> 00:24:34,569
Oh, yes I did.

416
00:24:34,569 --> 00:24:37,069
You just got bitch slapped
by Ms. Independence.

417
00:24:37,069 --> 00:24:39,109
Consider yourself lucky.

418
00:24:39,109 --> 00:24:40,609
Let's review the rules.

419
00:24:40,609 --> 00:24:42,779
Any men in my vicinity are mine.

420
00:24:42,779 --> 00:24:44,425
So just make your way back to the tuna boat

421
00:24:44,509 --> 00:24:45,925
or wherever it is you came from, okay.

422
00:24:46,009 --> 00:24:47,035
Because you're starting
to attract seagulls.

423
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,549
Hey. Chill.

424
00:24:49,549 --> 00:24:51,589
You better run, Miss Thing.

425
00:24:51,589 --> 00:24:53,889
Eighty-six!

426
00:24:53,889 --> 00:24:55,259
Eighty-six!

427
00:24:55,259 --> 00:24:57,519
Eighty-six her!

428
00:25:00,599 --> 00:25:02,729
Hey, Alex?
Red alert.

429
00:25:02,729 --> 00:25:04,029
Huh?

430
00:25:04,029 --> 00:25:05,699
I think we should get out of here.

431
00:25:05,699 --> 00:25:07,769
This place is weird.

432
00:25:07,769 --> 00:25:09,939
I just got bitch-slapped by some queen.

433
00:25:09,939 --> 00:25:12,069
Where's Shay and his friends?

434
00:25:12,069 --> 00:25:13,879
I'm not going anywhere.

435
00:25:13,879 --> 00:25:16,495
I've never seen so many hot
guys in one place in my life.

436
00:25:16,579 --> 00:25:19,209
Would you pull your head out of your ass?

437
00:25:19,209 --> 00:25:21,849
Why do you think there are
so many good-looking guys?

438
00:25:21,849 --> 00:25:24,019
I don't know.
Isn't it great?

439
00:25:24,019 --> 00:25:25,719
and they're such good dancers.

440
00:25:31,129 --> 00:25:34,059
Did you just hear what I said?

441
00:25:34,059 --> 00:25:35,599
- What?
- There she is!

442
00:25:35,599 --> 00:25:37,499
Get them!

443
00:25:58,589 --> 00:26:00,209
- Nice dress.
- Thanks.

444
00:26:08,329 --> 00:26:10,199
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

445
00:26:10,199 --> 00:26:12,115
What are you all doin' over
there? Y'all missed the show.

446
00:26:12,199 --> 00:26:14,069
We just performed right here.

447
00:26:14,069 --> 00:26:16,485
We just stopped by for a couple
of drinks, but we gotta go.

448
00:26:16,569 --> 00:26:18,009
We'll catch the next show.

449
00:26:18,009 --> 00:26:20,209
But, but we, we can still hang out, babes--

450
00:26:20,209 --> 00:26:22,755
See? The black guy scares
the little white girls again.

451
00:26:22,839 --> 00:26:23,925
No, I think it was the Asian guy

452
00:26:24,009 --> 00:26:24,895
that scared the white girls this time.

453
00:26:24,979 --> 00:26:26,649
Dude, I'm five foot two.

454
00:26:26,649 --> 00:26:28,095
You're like a little
troll or somethin', man.

455
00:26:28,179 --> 00:26:30,005
Stop talking like I'm
a twelve-year-old kid.

456
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,605
You look like a twelve-year-old kid.

457
00:26:31,689 --> 00:26:35,259
- I'm forty-two.
- What, inches high?

458
00:26:35,259 --> 00:26:36,359
No, long.

459
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,919
Yeah, right, with a microscope.

460
00:26:45,669 --> 00:26:47,239
Classic night.

461
00:26:47,239 --> 00:26:50,369
We go hunting for men at a gay club.

462
00:26:50,369 --> 00:26:53,709
Yeah. Great detective work, Holmes.

463
00:26:53,709 --> 00:26:55,855
At least I wasn't the one
who got bitch-slapped.

464
00:26:55,939 --> 00:26:58,025
Whatever. At least
I didn't get double-teamed

465
00:26:58,109 --> 00:27:00,819
on the dance floor by Menudo.

466
00:27:00,819 --> 00:27:02,095
Yeah, well, thanks for leaving me to deal

467
00:27:02,179 --> 00:27:03,719
with the Barbarian Twins.

468
00:27:03,719 --> 00:27:05,919
I jammed my freakin' pinkie.
God, it hurts.

469
00:27:05,919 --> 00:27:10,859
Yeah, but that right jab was hot ass.

470
00:27:10,859 --> 00:27:14,989
Ugh, another gas guzzling
vehicle going for a joyride.

471
00:27:17,069 --> 00:27:20,869
You know who's behind
the wheel of that beast?

472
00:27:20,869 --> 00:27:23,239
Some five-foot-two housewife.

473
00:27:23,239 --> 00:27:26,369
It's Operation
Desert Soccer Mom.

474
00:27:26,369 --> 00:27:31,049
You girls goin' out
for a late night cruise?

475
00:27:31,049 --> 00:27:32,849
What's up?

476
00:27:32,849 --> 00:27:34,735
You all should pull over
and smoke a blunt with us.

477
00:27:37,019 --> 00:27:38,789
Check this out.

478
00:27:38,789 --> 00:27:42,019
Do you always whip it out
and show it off like that?

479
00:27:42,019 --> 00:27:44,729
My moms always said, "You got it.

480
00:27:44,729 --> 00:27:45,805
Don't be scared to flaunt it."

481
00:27:48,129 --> 00:27:50,099
Are we gonna do this?

482
00:27:50,099 --> 00:27:51,429
Yes.

483
00:27:51,429 --> 00:27:54,699
- Really?
- Shut up.

484
00:27:54,699 --> 00:27:57,239
I can't believe you all
went to the wrong club.

485
00:27:57,239 --> 00:28:00,309
The peeps at the Lady Marmalade
ain't too friendly with women.

486
00:28:00,309 --> 00:28:01,839
But the catfight was on.

487
00:28:01,839 --> 00:28:03,949
See you chasing dude all down the block.

488
00:28:03,949 --> 00:28:05,209
Word.

489
00:28:05,209 --> 00:28:06,795
I like a woman who can kick some ass,

490
00:28:06,879 --> 00:28:08,095
throw me around in the sack a little,

491
00:28:08,179 --> 00:28:10,419
and show me who's boss.

492
00:28:10,419 --> 00:28:12,989
Oh, you wanna play games, huh?

493
00:28:12,989 --> 00:28:14,459
She wants to play games.

494
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:17,459
Me too.

495
00:28:17,459 --> 00:28:18,789
Wow.

496
00:28:18,789 --> 00:28:21,259
I know you want a slice of this.

497
00:28:21,259 --> 00:28:23,729
Yeah.

498
00:28:23,729 --> 00:28:25,999
There is something
you should know about me.

499
00:28:25,999 --> 00:28:29,069
As a rule, I don't sleep
with guys I can bench press.

500
00:28:29,069 --> 00:28:30,469
Don't write me off so fast.

501
00:28:30,469 --> 00:28:33,339
I'm not afraid of a strap-on.

502
00:28:33,339 --> 00:28:35,179
Oh, my God.

503
00:28:35,179 --> 00:28:38,009
A strap-on?
Come on, man.

504
00:28:38,009 --> 00:28:39,409
Can you believe it?

505
00:28:39,409 --> 00:28:42,049
Now we have a selection to choose from.

506
00:28:42,049 --> 00:28:44,449
I say we take them back to the pad.

507
00:28:44,449 --> 00:28:45,789
Are you serious?

508
00:28:45,789 --> 00:28:48,159
That Travis guy is ridiculous.

509
00:28:48,159 --> 00:28:51,989
So take a pick from one
of the other four. Come on.

510
00:28:51,989 --> 00:28:53,275
I read it in a book.
They like it.

511
00:28:53,359 --> 00:28:54,915
Dude, you're about to blow it for me, okay?

512
00:28:54,999 --> 00:28:56,199
We're in.

513
00:28:56,199 --> 00:28:57,499
I'm trying to get in.

514
00:28:57,499 --> 00:28:59,099
We're at the door.

515
00:28:59,099 --> 00:29:00,999
Open. We're in.

516
00:29:00,999 --> 00:29:03,339
- Trav.
- Okay.

517
00:29:03,339 --> 00:29:04,439
Remember.

518
00:29:04,439 --> 00:29:05,429
Focus.

519
00:29:10,279 --> 00:29:12,149
So you ladies done deliberatin'?

520
00:29:12,149 --> 00:29:13,979
Good 'cause
I made up my mind.

521
00:29:13,979 --> 00:29:15,949
Y'all riding with us.

522
00:29:15,949 --> 00:29:18,365
We'll take care of the drinks.
Follow you back to your crib.

523
00:29:18,449 --> 00:29:21,189
Please?

524
00:29:21,189 --> 00:29:22,459
And get it poppin'.

525
00:29:22,459 --> 00:29:24,189
Poppin'.

526
00:29:26,189 --> 00:29:28,819
Don't touch me.

527
00:29:40,839 --> 00:29:43,479
Go figure the Hummer runs out of gas.

528
00:29:43,479 --> 00:29:47,519
Yeah, but this is such good
exercise for our asses.

529
00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:49,509
Right there.
That's good.

530
00:29:52,219 --> 00:29:55,489
Your savior has arrived.

531
00:29:55,489 --> 00:29:57,459
Goddamn, girl.

532
00:29:57,459 --> 00:29:59,559
Ever since I saw you down at the shop,

533
00:29:59,559 --> 00:30:01,845
I couldn't get that
badonk-a-donk out of my mind.

534
00:30:01,929 --> 00:30:06,069
It's like a perfect ass.
It's a healthy ass.

535
00:30:06,069 --> 00:30:09,039
I see an ass like that on a white girl,

536
00:30:09,039 --> 00:30:12,799
oh my goddamn, that's abnormal.

537
00:30:15,439 --> 00:30:17,179
You must work out, girl.

538
00:30:17,179 --> 00:30:20,049
- A little.
- Me?

539
00:30:20,049 --> 00:30:23,049
I go to the gym for three
hours a day every day.

540
00:30:23,049 --> 00:30:24,309
Mmm.

541
00:30:25,489 --> 00:30:28,589
You like that?
Sexy ass girl.

542
00:30:28,589 --> 00:30:30,819
Come here.

543
00:30:31,929 --> 00:30:33,959
Yeah, that look good.

544
00:30:33,959 --> 00:30:37,069
I gotta have me some of this.

545
00:30:37,069 --> 00:30:41,039
After that last Red Bull and
vodka, I could go all night.

546
00:30:44,969 --> 00:30:46,869
I knew you were a dirty birdie.

547
00:30:46,869 --> 00:30:49,095
I can see you like to be
the man in the relationship.

548
00:30:49,179 --> 00:30:50,409
That's cool.

549
00:30:50,409 --> 00:30:52,109
I like a woman who wears the pants.

550
00:30:52,109 --> 00:30:55,519
You're like a tiger,
and I'm your weeping prey.

551
00:30:55,519 --> 00:30:58,919
Pounce on me. Eat me.
I'm yours. I'm right here.

552
00:30:58,919 --> 00:31:02,559
It's French.
Come on.

553
00:31:02,559 --> 00:31:03,959
Easy.

554
00:31:03,959 --> 00:31:06,059
All right. Cool.
Playing hard to get.

555
00:31:06,059 --> 00:31:08,059
I can feel the heat from your fire.

556
00:31:08,059 --> 00:31:10,199
The flames are rising up.

557
00:31:10,199 --> 00:31:12,529
Take me. I'm yours.

558
00:31:12,529 --> 00:31:15,059
Don't ruin it.

559
00:32:00,949 --> 00:32:03,279
Oh. Explore the cave.

560
00:32:20,269 --> 00:32:23,039
That's the spot.
That's the spot!

561
00:32:23,039 --> 00:32:24,555
Ah, I can't breathe!
Can't breathe!

562
00:32:24,639 --> 00:32:27,339
Tap out!
Tap out!

563
00:32:45,989 --> 00:32:47,999
This is a good position, huh?

564
00:32:47,999 --> 00:32:49,629
We have to trade our positions.

565
00:32:49,629 --> 00:32:52,629
Come here.
I'm gonna get up.

566
00:32:52,629 --> 00:32:54,229
Ooh.

567
00:33:09,379 --> 00:33:11,349
Oh, yeah.

568
00:33:11,349 --> 00:33:13,749
Oh, oh, yeah. Oh.

569
00:33:13,749 --> 00:33:16,949
Man, I'm just getting started.

570
00:33:21,529 --> 00:33:24,699
Oh.

571
00:33:24,699 --> 00:33:27,239
That's so nice.

572
00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:29,099
Yeah.

573
00:33:29,099 --> 00:33:31,509
I wanna make you my woman.

574
00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:37,039
Come home to you and
a home-cooked meal every day.

575
00:33:37,039 --> 00:33:38,479
You see these?

576
00:33:38,479 --> 00:33:40,679
These are childbearing
hips right here, baby.

577
00:33:44,319 --> 00:33:46,619
I ain't ready to leave yet, man.

578
00:33:46,619 --> 00:33:50,119
So, uh, thanks for stopping by.

579
00:33:50,119 --> 00:33:53,189
Just be grateful.
Come on. Let's bounce.

580
00:33:53,189 --> 00:33:55,529
Thank you for your hospitality.

581
00:34:01,539 --> 00:34:04,059
Oh. Whoa.

582
00:34:09,309 --> 00:34:11,125
Just in the neighborhood.
Thought I'd drop off your mail.

583
00:34:11,209 --> 00:34:13,379
So sorry to bother you.

584
00:34:13,379 --> 00:34:15,579
I didn't realize you had company.

585
00:34:15,579 --> 00:34:17,749
There's a parking ticket here.

586
00:34:17,749 --> 00:34:19,465
It says you were in
Marina del Rey at five a.m.

587
00:34:19,549 --> 00:34:21,659
on June Third.

588
00:34:21,659 --> 00:34:24,205
You know, I normally don't have
a problem paying your bills,

589
00:34:24,289 --> 00:34:26,045
but I'll be damned
if I shell out fifty bucks

590
00:34:26,129 --> 00:34:27,445
while you're getting
pounded by some other guy.

591
00:34:27,529 --> 00:34:29,329
Listen, Bobby.

592
00:34:29,329 --> 00:34:31,585
You need to stop coming by
the house and harassing me.

593
00:34:31,669 --> 00:34:33,429
You need professional help.

594
00:34:33,429 --> 00:34:35,169
Professional help.

595
00:34:35,169 --> 00:34:36,615
Hey, you're practically
the professional now

596
00:34:36,699 --> 00:34:39,069
the way you're off screwing everyone.

597
00:34:39,069 --> 00:34:40,779
You should be charging by the hour.

598
00:34:40,779 --> 00:34:42,779
Nice serving of Catholic guilt,

599
00:34:42,779 --> 00:34:45,195
but I'm not gonna help you go
through your midlife crisis.

600
00:34:45,279 --> 00:34:47,679
Thanks for the four in
the morning mail delivery.

601
00:34:50,549 --> 00:34:54,259
I'll send you the money to pay the ticket.

602
00:34:55,759 --> 00:35:00,489
If I have to deal with one
more self-absorbed male.

603
00:35:00,489 --> 00:35:02,829
Don't they know that it's all about me?

604
00:35:02,829 --> 00:35:06,729
It's always the most unassuming
guys that are the best in bed.

605
00:35:06,729 --> 00:35:08,715
Damn, that little Travis
knew how to work it.

606
00:35:08,799 --> 00:35:11,269
I just want a guy that knows how to please

607
00:35:11,269 --> 00:35:14,809
and knows his way around a woman's body.

608
00:35:14,809 --> 00:35:18,179
The perfect man is the guy
that knocks on your door,

609
00:35:18,179 --> 00:35:21,749
gives you the best shag
of your life, and then leaves.

610
00:35:21,749 --> 00:35:23,419
No questions asked.

611
00:35:23,419 --> 00:35:25,649
Exactly.

612
00:35:25,649 --> 00:35:27,589
It's like Disneyland.

613
00:35:27,589 --> 00:35:31,489
At the end of the night, the
rides are over and you go home.

614
00:35:31,489 --> 00:35:34,799
Just imagine in a perfect world,

615
00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:38,199
there's a knock at the door...

616
00:35:43,539 --> 00:35:45,909
Hi, I'm Zack.

617
00:35:45,909 --> 00:35:49,879
I'm intelligent, entertaining,
and handy around the house.

618
00:35:49,879 --> 00:35:52,379
I'll attend to your every need,

619
00:35:52,379 --> 00:35:56,619
give you the best sex of your
life, and then I'll leave.

620
00:35:56,619 --> 00:35:59,789
When could I get started?

621
00:35:59,789 --> 00:36:02,659
Where would we find such a man?

622
00:36:02,659 --> 00:36:04,859
Oh, my God.
There it is.

623
00:36:04,859 --> 00:36:06,589
- What?
- The perfect guy.

624
00:36:09,159 --> 00:36:11,199
Hi, ladies!

625
00:36:16,469 --> 00:36:18,529
- Oh, my God!
- We have to help him.

626
00:36:22,709 --> 00:36:24,509
I think he needs CPR.

627
00:36:24,509 --> 00:36:27,639
I took first aid.
I know proper mouth-to-mouth.

628
00:36:34,219 --> 00:36:37,629
Are you angels?

629
00:36:37,629 --> 00:36:39,489
Am I in Heaven yet?

630
00:36:39,489 --> 00:36:41,729
That's quite a nasty wound.

631
00:36:41,729 --> 00:36:44,599
I've got a first aid kit in my bathroom.

632
00:36:44,599 --> 00:36:46,459
Let's bring him in.

633
00:36:54,379 --> 00:36:57,409
Wow. Thanks for helping me.

634
00:36:57,409 --> 00:36:59,509
You guys really are like angels.

635
00:36:59,509 --> 00:37:01,719
Alexis, do you mind running to the kitchen

636
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,309
and putting on the kettle?

637
00:37:06,789 --> 00:37:10,319
Oh. Sure.

638
00:37:10,319 --> 00:37:12,689
Let me take care of that wound.

639
00:37:12,689 --> 00:37:16,929
Oh, and look how dirty you are.

640
00:37:16,929 --> 00:37:19,729
You're lucky you didn't get concussion.

641
00:37:19,729 --> 00:37:22,239
You know what they say is good
for a concussion.

642
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,359
Aspirin?

643
00:37:25,969 --> 00:37:29,879
Oh! Oh! Oh!

644
00:37:29,879 --> 00:37:32,009
Ride me like a wave.

645
00:37:32,009 --> 00:37:33,949
Saddle up for my seahorse.

646
00:37:33,949 --> 00:37:36,619
Here comes "Moby Dick."

647
00:37:36,619 --> 00:37:39,389
Hang ten, baby.

648
00:37:39,389 --> 00:37:41,705
Tell me I'm your dolphin.
Tell me I'm your dolphin!

649
00:37:41,789 --> 00:37:42,859
You're my dolphin!

650
00:37:50,399 --> 00:37:52,799
Look at that fine piece of meat!

651
00:37:55,669 --> 00:37:58,729
Oh, yeah.

652
00:38:01,809 --> 00:38:05,749
Oh, making out with that guy was great,

653
00:38:05,749 --> 00:38:08,879
until I busted his nose
with the shower curtain.

654
00:38:08,879 --> 00:38:13,649
But, man, I can't believe how easy it was.

655
00:38:13,649 --> 00:38:16,319
First he knocks himself
out with a surfboard.

656
00:38:16,319 --> 00:38:21,299
Then when we revive him,
all he wants to do is get it on.

657
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:22,699
Yeah.

658
00:38:22,699 --> 00:38:24,715
Maybe we should just be
clubbing men over the head?

659
00:38:24,799 --> 00:38:26,929
Think about it.

660
00:38:26,929 --> 00:38:28,499
Thousands of years ago,

661
00:38:28,499 --> 00:38:30,469
men used to club women over the head

662
00:38:30,469 --> 00:38:32,499
and drag them back to their cave for sex.

663
00:38:34,509 --> 00:38:37,039
That's not such a bad idea.

664
00:38:37,039 --> 00:38:39,009
You're right.

665
00:38:39,009 --> 00:38:42,849
Women have been treated
like that for centuries.

666
00:38:42,849 --> 00:38:44,279
Now it's our turn.

667
00:38:47,559 --> 00:38:49,459
Quick! He's coming this way!

668
00:38:52,559 --> 00:38:54,599
What are you doing?

669
00:38:54,599 --> 00:38:56,745
Stop messing around, dude.
Get into character.

670
00:38:56,829 --> 00:38:58,529
All right. Let's go.

671
00:39:13,409 --> 00:39:14,649
Oh, man, it was amazing.

672
00:39:14,649 --> 00:39:16,579
Well, of course,
I'm not gonna be late.

673
00:39:16,579 --> 00:39:17,765
I'll be there in like five, ten minutes.

674
00:39:17,849 --> 00:39:20,019
There's the surf meat.

675
00:39:20,019 --> 00:39:22,789
Tango identified at eleven o'clock.

676
00:39:22,789 --> 00:39:25,559
Yeah, no,
I'll be there right now.

677
00:39:25,559 --> 00:39:26,645
I can pick you up if you want.

678
00:39:26,729 --> 00:39:28,759
Yeah, no,
I can pick you up.

679
00:39:28,759 --> 00:39:30,429
- Hi.
- Hi.

680
00:39:30,429 --> 00:39:31,545
Just one second, all right?

681
00:39:31,629 --> 00:39:33,129
- Hi.
- Hello.

682
00:39:33,129 --> 00:39:35,639
No, no. I'll be there in like ten minutes.

683
00:39:35,639 --> 00:39:41,509
All right, man. Bye.

684
00:39:41,509 --> 00:39:44,999
- Yes!
- Woo!

685
00:39:47,079 --> 00:39:48,819
Woo!

686
00:39:48,819 --> 00:39:51,119
Are we gonna get arrested
for taking his car?

687
00:39:51,119 --> 00:39:54,489
Woo!

688
00:39:57,759 --> 00:40:00,459
You're crazy!

689
00:40:02,059 --> 00:40:03,999
I can't believe we pulled it off!

690
00:40:03,999 --> 00:40:05,969
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

691
00:40:05,969 --> 00:40:08,085
Together we're like a
well-oiled man eating machine.

692
00:40:08,169 --> 00:40:09,359
- Yeah.
- Woo!

693
00:40:12,139 --> 00:40:14,439
I got a blue Mustang south on Balboa.

694
00:40:14,439 --> 00:40:16,539
Exhibition of speed.

695
00:40:16,539 --> 00:40:18,049
I can't believe the timing.

696
00:40:18,049 --> 00:40:19,379
Do you think he saw us?

697
00:40:21,879 --> 00:40:23,479
Nah, it can't be.

698
00:40:23,479 --> 00:40:24,749
Shit!

699
00:40:24,749 --> 00:40:26,789
Act like everything is normal.

700
00:40:26,789 --> 00:40:29,379
Okay. Do I look normal?

701
00:40:40,169 --> 00:40:41,899
Shh.

702
00:40:41,899 --> 00:40:44,809
You have quite a nasty bump on your head.

703
00:40:44,809 --> 00:40:47,539
What happened?
Where am I?

704
00:40:47,539 --> 00:40:49,509
What, what time is it?

705
00:40:49,509 --> 00:40:53,009
Uh, we just came home from work
and you were loading your car,

706
00:40:53,009 --> 00:40:55,979
and then all of a sudden
you just collapsed.

707
00:40:57,749 --> 00:40:59,765
We rushed right over
to see if you were okay.

708
00:40:59,849 --> 00:41:01,659
Uh-huh.

709
00:41:01,659 --> 00:41:03,835
You were knocked out cold
so we had to bring you inside.

710
00:41:03,919 --> 00:41:06,989
- What happened to--
- Shh. Shh.

711
00:41:06,989 --> 00:41:08,899
- Oh, but–
- Shhh.

712
00:41:08,899 --> 00:41:11,199
I, I'm sorry but...

713
00:41:11,199 --> 00:41:12,599
Wait. Wait.

714
00:41:12,599 --> 00:41:14,085
I– I'm sorry, but what time is it?

715
00:41:14,169 --> 00:41:15,715
I'm supposed to be on at four thirty.

716
00:41:15,799 --> 00:41:16,969
Go on?

717
00:41:16,969 --> 00:41:19,069
It's four o'clock now.

718
00:41:19,069 --> 00:41:21,179
Oh, blast.

719
00:41:21,179 --> 00:41:23,679
I can't believe it.

720
00:41:23,679 --> 00:41:25,025
I'm gonna miss the conference.

721
00:41:25,109 --> 00:41:26,125
I'm supposed to be the keynote speaker.

722
00:41:26,209 --> 00:41:28,779
Slow down.
What conference?

723
00:41:28,779 --> 00:41:31,689
The Jehovah's Witness
Missionary Conference.

724
00:41:31,689 --> 00:41:34,959
Oh, God.

725
00:41:34,959 --> 00:41:36,859
They're gonna be worried sick.

726
00:41:36,859 --> 00:41:38,705
Probably have the Coast Guard
out looking for me.

727
00:41:38,789 --> 00:41:41,129
You're not from around here?

728
00:41:41,129 --> 00:41:43,199
No. No, no.

729
00:41:43,199 --> 00:41:44,529
I--I'm from London.

730
00:41:44,529 --> 00:41:46,269
- Ooh.
- England?

731
00:41:46,269 --> 00:41:47,899
Oh.

732
00:41:47,899 --> 00:41:51,139
Anyway, this was my last
stop on the way to Cambodia.

733
00:41:51,139 --> 00:41:54,709
You see, we're setting up
an orphanage in Phnom Penh,

734
00:41:54,709 --> 00:41:57,679
and I thought I could get some
surfing in this morning.

735
00:41:57,679 --> 00:41:59,079
Oh, God, how foolish of me.

736
00:41:59,079 --> 00:42:01,619
Now I've really, really done it.

737
00:42:01,619 --> 00:42:03,919
You could still make it.

738
00:42:03,919 --> 00:42:07,549
No. No, no.
That's impossible.

739
00:42:07,549 --> 00:42:10,119
I mean this is an absolute shambles.

740
00:42:10,119 --> 00:42:11,929
My brothers are gonna be so let down.

741
00:42:11,929 --> 00:42:13,759
I mean what am
I gonna tell them?

742
00:42:13,759 --> 00:42:16,299
Look, I, I'm...

743
00:42:16,299 --> 00:42:18,169
I'm sorry, this isn't your problem.

744
00:42:18,169 --> 00:42:20,529
You've both been absolutely lovely,

745
00:42:20,529 --> 00:42:24,199
but I really must get going now.

746
00:42:24,199 --> 00:42:26,209
No.

747
00:42:26,209 --> 00:42:27,809
Um, you don't feel well.

748
00:42:27,809 --> 00:42:29,995
Let me get you a cold
washcloth for your forehead.

749
00:42:30,079 --> 00:42:31,809
And some aspirin.

750
00:42:31,809 --> 00:42:33,879
- Well, no, I--
- No! You stay!

751
00:42:33,879 --> 00:42:36,209
Sit! Sit.

752
00:42:39,019 --> 00:42:41,279
Good boy. Sit.
Come on.

753
00:42:43,789 --> 00:42:45,229
What are you doing?

754
00:42:45,229 --> 00:42:47,329
You're ruining it, you dork.

755
00:42:47,329 --> 00:42:49,559
I think this one is a catch and release.

756
00:42:49,559 --> 00:42:50,659
Mmm-mmm.

757
00:42:50,659 --> 00:42:53,929
Look at him.
He's a saint.

758
00:42:53,929 --> 00:42:57,669
I mean he wanted to open
an orphanage in– in Cambodia.

759
00:42:57,669 --> 00:42:59,209
I feel awful.

760
00:42:59,209 --> 00:43:02,609
He missed his conference
and now the Coast Guard

761
00:43:02,609 --> 00:43:03,879
is gonna come down here,

762
00:43:03,879 --> 00:43:06,249
and then Bobby is gonna be
all over our ass.

763
00:43:06,249 --> 00:43:09,149
Will you forget about Bobby?
This one's a keeper.

764
00:43:09,149 --> 00:43:11,989
Jehovah's Witness come by every day.

765
00:43:11,989 --> 00:43:13,889
Well, they're never this cute!

766
00:43:13,889 --> 00:43:16,119
You had your guy.
This guy's mine!

767
00:43:16,119 --> 00:43:18,589
Okay, cranky pants.

768
00:43:18,589 --> 00:43:21,229
So, I--I couldn't find any aspirin,

769
00:43:21,229 --> 00:43:24,969
but I think I know what
can make you feel better.

770
00:43:24,969 --> 00:43:26,029
Oh.

771
00:43:26,029 --> 00:43:28,029
Just come with me.

772
00:43:29,339 --> 00:43:31,169
I should really get going now.

773
00:43:31,169 --> 00:43:34,009
Come on.
It's in my room.

774
00:43:34,009 --> 00:43:35,109
Come.

775
00:43:39,679 --> 00:43:43,649
Oh, yes. You naughty,
naughty little monkey.

776
00:43:43,649 --> 00:43:49,219
You're about to see a very,
very bad Jehovah.

777
00:43:56,129 --> 00:43:57,659
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?

778
00:44:03,669 --> 00:44:05,755
Where do you think you're going,
my little chipmunk?

779
00:44:05,839 --> 00:44:07,879
No, you don't.

780
00:44:15,819 --> 00:44:17,635
Here are the shots
I got off the Internet.

781
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:21,889
Here's the beach,
our house, and the surf shop.

782
00:44:21,889 --> 00:44:25,689
In between the beach and our
house is the men's bathroom.

783
00:44:25,689 --> 00:44:28,429
The plan is we hide in the men's bathroom

784
00:44:28,429 --> 00:44:30,759
and wait for a target to approach.

785
00:44:30,759 --> 00:44:33,969
When the target is within
striking range, we attack!

786
00:44:33,969 --> 00:44:35,939
Rendering him incapacitated.

787
00:44:35,939 --> 00:44:37,839
At zero nine hundred hours,

788
00:44:37,839 --> 00:44:40,739
Chode Warrior and Ball Buster
rendezvous here to surveil.

789
00:44:40,739 --> 00:44:42,799
Roger that,
Ball Buster.

790
00:44:43,879 --> 00:44:47,109
- Hi, ladies.
- Hi.

791
00:44:50,419 --> 00:44:52,819
I think I found a possible target.

792
00:44:52,819 --> 00:44:54,959
I need confirmation,
Ball Buster.

793
00:44:54,959 --> 00:44:57,359
- Where?
- Eleven o'clock.

794
00:45:01,059 --> 00:45:02,929
Tango identified,
Chode Warrior.

795
00:45:02,929 --> 00:45:04,459
Affirmative.

796
00:45:04,459 --> 00:45:06,989
Don't act until target's within reach.

797
00:45:09,269 --> 00:45:10,239
Now!

798
00:45:19,309 --> 00:45:22,279
Oh, excuse me.

799
00:45:22,279 --> 00:45:25,889
I was just washing
some sex wax off my chest.

800
00:45:25,889 --> 00:45:27,289
Do you use Mr. Zog's?

801
00:45:27,289 --> 00:45:30,289
This, this is the, uh, men's room.

802
00:45:30,289 --> 00:45:32,889
Oh, I didn't see the sign.

803
00:45:32,889 --> 00:45:36,859
So, uh, do you come here often?

804
00:45:36,859 --> 00:45:39,389
When I gotta take a leak, yup.

805
00:45:40,899 --> 00:45:42,869
I'm kidding.

806
00:45:42,869 --> 00:45:44,885
I got a– I got a
little place up the street.

807
00:45:44,969 --> 00:45:47,739
Oh, really?
Uh, where do you live?

808
00:45:47,739 --> 00:45:50,179
Between Eighteenth and Balboa?

809
00:45:50,179 --> 00:45:54,049
Wow. That close?

810
00:45:54,049 --> 00:45:55,449
- Oh!
- Ow.

811
00:45:55,449 --> 00:45:57,279
Oh, um...

812
00:45:57,279 --> 00:45:59,249
Ah, gee, I'm sorry.

813
00:45:59,249 --> 00:46:01,049
I didn't--are you okay?

814
00:46:03,019 --> 00:46:04,929
Nice recovery.

815
00:46:04,929 --> 00:46:08,059
Quick. Pack this meat up and
take it back to the base "ASAP".

816
00:46:08,059 --> 00:46:09,799
Okay.

817
00:46:09,799 --> 00:46:10,929
What does "ASAP" mean?

818
00:46:10,929 --> 00:46:12,499
Now.

819
00:46:12,499 --> 00:46:14,989
Okay. Got it.

820
00:46:22,509 --> 00:46:24,849
How are you feeling?

821
00:46:24,849 --> 00:46:28,179
Ow.

822
00:46:28,179 --> 00:46:30,479
Ow. What, what happened?

823
00:46:30,479 --> 00:46:33,819
Don't worry.
You're in safe hands now.

824
00:46:38,189 --> 00:46:39,789
Oh.

825
00:46:39,789 --> 00:46:41,275
You're the girl from the bathroom, right?

826
00:46:41,359 --> 00:46:44,099
Your memory is coming back.

827
00:46:44,099 --> 00:46:45,869
- Uh.
- Oh.

828
00:46:45,869 --> 00:46:49,399
Oh, that bump on your head is awfully big.

829
00:46:49,399 --> 00:46:53,069
Ow. Yeah, yeah.
No, I'm, I'm, I'm fine.

830
00:46:53,069 --> 00:46:55,379
Wow.

831
00:46:55,379 --> 00:46:57,909
How sweet of you to take care of me.

832
00:46:57,909 --> 00:47:00,849
Yeah.

833
00:47:00,849 --> 00:47:05,289
I feel like maybe
I need to repay the favor.

834
00:47:05,289 --> 00:47:08,079
Probably. Yeah.

835
00:47:15,959 --> 00:47:18,119
How about a foot massage?

836
00:47:19,569 --> 00:47:22,059
I'm really good with my hands.

837
00:47:26,969 --> 00:47:28,179
Okay?

838
00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:30,279
You know, so being Catholic

839
00:47:30,279 --> 00:47:31,895
and coming from that kind of family,

840
00:47:31,979 --> 00:47:34,409
just very sort of, uh, spiritual

841
00:47:34,409 --> 00:47:38,889
and just, um, just really family motivated.

842
00:47:38,889 --> 00:47:43,959
God, I must have, oh, nineteen
nieces and nephews and,

843
00:47:43,959 --> 00:47:46,189
ah, we're just, we're all so close.

844
00:47:46,189 --> 00:47:48,029
My older brother Bobby, he married,

845
00:47:48,029 --> 00:47:51,969
uh, a girl in Wisconsin
and they have, uh, five.

846
00:47:51,969 --> 00:47:53,469
I love kids.

847
00:47:53,469 --> 00:47:55,939
Did you want to have children someday?

848
00:47:55,939 --> 00:47:59,109
Uh, not anytime soon.

849
00:47:59,109 --> 00:48:00,409
Ah.

850
00:48:00,409 --> 00:48:04,279
Mmm, I just love cuddling after sex.

851
00:48:04,279 --> 00:48:07,879
Could you just, uh, give me a minute?

852
00:48:07,879 --> 00:48:11,149
I'll see you downstairs.

853
00:48:13,619 --> 00:48:15,519
Oh.

854
00:48:15,519 --> 00:48:16,589
Hi.

855
00:48:16,589 --> 00:48:18,929
Um, good morning.

856
00:48:18,929 --> 00:48:21,899
Um, there you are.

857
00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:24,329
A little fresh squeezed orange juice,

858
00:48:24,329 --> 00:48:27,569
and my specialty, crepes and fritters.

859
00:48:27,569 --> 00:48:30,969
You know, a little
French meets the South.

860
00:48:30,969 --> 00:48:33,109
Oh, uh, don't, don't–
Um, hold on.

861
00:48:33,109 --> 00:48:35,409
And a little dab will do it.

862
00:48:35,409 --> 00:48:36,909
- There.
- Wow.

863
00:48:36,909 --> 00:48:38,309
You're good.

864
00:48:38,309 --> 00:48:40,509
We need somebody domestic around the house.

865
00:48:40,509 --> 00:48:42,379
How's that head doin'?

866
00:48:42,379 --> 00:48:47,449
Oh. No, the-- Yeah.
It's as good as new. Really.

867
00:48:47,449 --> 00:48:49,289
I gotta tell ya.

868
00:48:49,289 --> 00:48:52,689
That friend of yours tickles
the hell out of my funny bone.

869
00:48:52,689 --> 00:48:54,929
You know, for a seasoned hard ass,

870
00:48:54,929 --> 00:48:58,059
it is very unusual for a woman
to make me laugh like that.

871
00:48:58,059 --> 00:49:00,999
She kind of reminds me of one of the guys,

872
00:49:00,999 --> 00:49:03,599
except much better boobs.

873
00:49:03,599 --> 00:49:05,169
Yeah.

874
00:49:05,169 --> 00:49:10,479
She's practically a man with a vagina.

875
00:49:10,479 --> 00:49:14,509
Well. Good morning, pookie!

876
00:49:14,509 --> 00:49:18,189
I hope you're famished.

877
00:49:18,189 --> 00:49:19,549
Ah, here you go.

878
00:49:19,549 --> 00:49:21,519
So, Jared, what do you do for fun?

879
00:49:21,519 --> 00:49:25,589
Well, actually, I'm a--
I'm a musician.

880
00:49:25,589 --> 00:49:29,729
I know it gets a little boring
talking about that with friends,

881
00:49:29,729 --> 00:49:34,299
but I've been known to trade a
few licks with the best of 'em.

882
00:49:34,299 --> 00:49:36,115
But I guess you already know that, right?

883
00:49:38,609 --> 00:49:41,169
That's so cool.

884
00:49:41,169 --> 00:49:44,679
Well, uh, bon appétit,
Mademoiselles.

885
00:49:44,679 --> 00:49:46,979
No, thank you.

886
00:49:46,979 --> 00:49:50,049
Uh, I feel like
I'm gonna be sick.

887
00:49:50,049 --> 00:49:52,289
Aunt Flo making her monthly visit?

888
00:49:52,289 --> 00:49:54,389
Are you delusional?

889
00:49:54,389 --> 00:49:57,119
Do you actually think
we're in a relationship?

890
00:49:57,119 --> 00:50:00,129
We met in a bathroom.
Had sex.

891
00:50:00,129 --> 00:50:01,999
I don't even remember your name.

892
00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:04,145
Do you think that we're gonna
walk down the aisle

893
00:50:04,229 --> 00:50:06,469
in a few months and exchange vows?

894
00:50:06,469 --> 00:50:10,539
Well, I just thought
that we had a connection?

895
00:50:10,539 --> 00:50:14,069
Why don't you pack your
bags and go back to momma

896
00:50:14,069 --> 00:50:16,039
because I am not the woman

897
00:50:16,039 --> 00:50:19,709
that's gonna be playing
house with you. Okay?

898
00:50:19,709 --> 00:50:24,209
I'll just get my clothes.

899
00:50:34,059 --> 00:50:38,049
These are mine.

900
00:50:39,169 --> 00:50:42,569
Oh. That was harsh.

901
00:50:42,569 --> 00:50:46,309
Good. Like you can talk.

902
00:50:46,309 --> 00:50:49,109
You only like guy because
he was cooking for you.

903
00:50:49,109 --> 00:50:52,209
Well, you don't have
to be such a bitch about it.

904
00:50:52,209 --> 00:50:54,309
Would you just let me vent.

905
00:50:54,309 --> 00:50:56,279
I had to listen for three hours

906
00:50:56,279 --> 00:50:59,249
about how he made a trip to a guru in India

907
00:50:59,249 --> 00:51:02,089
and he got all spiritual.

908
00:51:02,089 --> 00:51:06,289
Well, any guy that can cook
and massage is good in my book.

909
00:51:06,289 --> 00:51:10,359
And his name is Jared, not "guy".

910
00:51:10,359 --> 00:51:12,799
- Whatever.
- I want my crepe back.

911
00:51:21,709 --> 00:51:23,839
God dammit.

912
00:51:23,839 --> 00:51:27,779
We need to implement
a catch and release program.

913
00:51:27,779 --> 00:51:30,519
Now, if we can't agree
on a suitable target,

914
00:51:30,519 --> 00:51:32,219
then we're gonna set them free,

915
00:51:32,219 --> 00:51:35,319
and no more of these younger guys.

916
00:51:35,319 --> 00:51:37,459
I can't handle any more momma's boys.

917
00:51:37,459 --> 00:51:39,859
Okay. New rule.

918
00:51:39,859 --> 00:51:42,299
No guys under the age of thirty.

919
00:51:42,299 --> 00:51:44,745
If we're gonna go as far
as to knock these guys out,

920
00:51:44,829 --> 00:51:47,269
we gotta get guys with their shit together.

921
00:51:47,269 --> 00:51:49,015
Older guys are more stable.

922
00:51:49,099 --> 00:51:51,539
There's always exceptions to the rule.

923
00:51:51,539 --> 00:51:53,769
Stop calling me.

924
00:51:53,769 --> 00:51:55,679
Is he out of his mind?

925
00:51:57,139 --> 00:51:59,609
Stop calling me!

926
00:51:59,609 --> 00:52:01,549
Bobby, what is your problem?

927
00:52:01,549 --> 00:52:03,149
Why are you hounding me?

928
00:52:03,149 --> 00:52:06,489
We're never gonna get back together. Ever!

929
00:52:06,489 --> 00:52:08,659
Nice one.

930
00:52:08,659 --> 00:52:11,349
Alexis?
Alexis, are you there?

931
00:52:16,399 --> 00:52:18,229
Really nice one.

932
00:52:18,229 --> 00:52:19,899
I feel much better.

933
00:52:19,899 --> 00:52:23,169
I had to release some of that anger.

934
00:52:23,169 --> 00:52:25,809
Alexis, Lindsay, you're home!

935
00:52:25,809 --> 00:52:28,169
- Hello?
- Oh, that's great.

936
00:52:28,169 --> 00:52:30,409
I can hear you guys loud and clear.

937
00:52:30,409 --> 00:52:32,279
You can hear what we're saying?

938
00:52:32,279 --> 00:52:34,665
Just let me know if you need
any groceries or anything.

939
00:52:34,749 --> 00:52:38,849
Oh, I dug through your trash and
noticed an empty box of tampons.

940
00:52:38,849 --> 00:52:41,235
You guys will need to restock
soon because, Alexis,

941
00:52:41,319 --> 00:52:44,719
you're about four days away
from starting your period,

942
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:47,489
and, Lindsay, that means
you're not far off either.

943
00:52:47,489 --> 00:52:49,499
I'll have to make a run to Costco

944
00:52:49,499 --> 00:52:51,559
for the Tampax Deluxe Pack.

945
00:52:51,559 --> 00:52:54,769
The applicator is biodegradable, you know.

946
00:52:54,769 --> 00:52:56,839
Don't worry about anything, girls.

947
00:52:56,839 --> 00:52:59,409
You won't even have to get off the couch.

948
00:52:59,409 --> 00:53:01,169
That doesn't sound so bad.

949
00:53:01,169 --> 00:53:02,625
Stop it.
You're encouraging him.

950
00:53:02,709 --> 00:53:04,355
I also noticed you guys have gone through

951
00:53:04,439 --> 00:53:05,579
a lot of condoms.

952
00:53:05,579 --> 00:53:07,479
I hope that's all you, Lindsay.

953
00:53:07,479 --> 00:53:08,795
I'll be disappointed, Alexis,

954
00:53:08,879 --> 00:53:10,879
if you've been out whoring around.

955
00:53:10,879 --> 00:53:13,619
I don't wanna get an STD
when we get back together.

956
00:53:13,619 --> 00:53:15,759
How long have you been bugging our house?

957
00:53:15,759 --> 00:53:17,389
Just since you were out shopping,

958
00:53:17,389 --> 00:53:19,829
dropping off your videos,
and getting sushi.

959
00:53:19,829 --> 00:53:21,759
Bobby, this is way over the line.

960
00:53:21,759 --> 00:53:23,929
This is beyond stalking.

961
00:53:27,829 --> 00:53:29,369
What the hell is that?

962
00:53:29,369 --> 00:53:30,769
Oh, this?

963
00:53:30,769 --> 00:53:32,839
I got it from a nifty store.

964
00:53:32,839 --> 00:53:35,279
Grant's Gun Shop.

965
00:53:35,279 --> 00:53:38,449
I just thought it was perfect
for what we're getting into.

966
00:53:38,449 --> 00:53:40,569
You should see the other stuff they have.

967
00:53:56,759 --> 00:53:59,789
Check this out.

968
00:54:03,739 --> 00:54:06,739
Is there anything I can
help you ladies with?

969
00:54:06,739 --> 00:54:09,809
No, just browsing.
Thanks.

970
00:54:09,809 --> 00:54:11,749
Let me know if you need any help.

971
00:54:11,749 --> 00:54:12,769
Name's Jodie.

972
00:54:25,359 --> 00:54:28,829
Lookin' for something in particular?

973
00:54:28,829 --> 00:54:31,929
Uh, what are these things for?

974
00:54:31,929 --> 00:54:33,899
Oh.

975
00:54:33,899 --> 00:54:37,699
This, this is for the serious sportsman.

976
00:54:37,699 --> 00:54:39,509
It gives you the thrill of the hunt

977
00:54:39,509 --> 00:54:42,379
without actually having to kill or maim.

978
00:54:42,379 --> 00:54:44,309
Best darn dart gun on the market.

979
00:54:44,309 --> 00:54:47,309
Wow.
Impressive.

980
00:54:47,309 --> 00:54:49,549
What do you hunt with that thing?

981
00:54:49,549 --> 00:54:51,519
That all depends.

982
00:54:51,519 --> 00:54:53,389
What suits your fancy?

983
00:54:56,659 --> 00:54:57,935
Let me show you guys something

984
00:54:58,019 --> 00:54:59,969
that I think will be of interest to you.

985
00:55:10,539 --> 00:55:13,939
Well, ladies, have I got
somethin' to show you.

986
00:55:13,939 --> 00:55:16,539
I must add that everything
you're about to do and say

987
00:55:16,539 --> 00:55:19,949
within these four walls is now classified.

988
00:55:19,949 --> 00:55:21,879
Wait 'til you get a load of this.

989
00:55:35,829 --> 00:55:37,699
This is my trophy room.

990
00:55:37,699 --> 00:55:40,689
Who are all these guys?

991
00:55:42,499 --> 00:55:45,839
My collection.

992
00:55:45,839 --> 00:55:47,969
I must commend you ladies on your

993
00:55:47,969 --> 00:55:50,509
imaginative approach to your new sport.

994
00:55:50,509 --> 00:55:52,579
What are you talking about?

995
00:55:52,579 --> 00:55:55,919
Don't play dumb with me, cutie.

996
00:55:55,919 --> 00:55:58,689
Takes one to know one.

997
00:55:58,689 --> 00:56:02,119
Let's just put it that way.

998
00:56:02,119 --> 00:56:04,779
Oh, come with me.

999
00:56:11,059 --> 00:56:12,999
Now that you're dressed for combat,

1000
00:56:12,999 --> 00:56:14,849
I'm gonna show you a couple of things.

1001
00:56:20,609 --> 00:56:22,779
Nice.

1002
00:56:22,779 --> 00:56:24,409
Did you see that?

1003
00:56:24,409 --> 00:56:25,525
I'm not even showin' off yet.

1004
00:56:25,609 --> 00:56:27,379
That's amazing.

1005
00:56:27,379 --> 00:56:29,849
Look, I don't know why you
brought us down here.

1006
00:56:29,849 --> 00:56:31,419
Really?

1007
00:56:31,419 --> 00:56:32,735
Well, the impression
I got the last time

1008
00:56:32,819 --> 00:56:34,889
your friend here came to visit

1009
00:56:34,889 --> 00:56:37,819
was that we ain't talkin'
about huntin' no small game.

1010
00:56:37,819 --> 00:56:39,005
What was that that you bought?

1011
00:56:39,089 --> 00:56:41,589
Oh, yeah, the Taser X-26
Professional Series?

1012
00:56:41,589 --> 00:56:43,845
- Yeah, that was it.
- What are you trying to say?

1013
00:56:43,929 --> 00:56:46,429
There's no need to get defensive, darlin'.

1014
00:56:46,429 --> 00:56:48,939
I just like to pass on
a few pearls of wisdom

1015
00:56:48,939 --> 00:56:50,969
to the next generation, as it were.

1016
00:56:50,969 --> 00:56:53,869
Let me tell you a story.

1017
00:56:53,869 --> 00:56:56,739
I was twenty-seven.
Never been laid.

1018
00:56:56,739 --> 00:56:59,449
I was fed up and overfed.

1019
00:56:59,449 --> 00:57:02,119
Then along came Grant.

1020
00:57:02,119 --> 00:57:04,449
He was the five-time reigning champion

1021
00:57:04,449 --> 00:57:06,589
of the Douglas County
Annual Raccoon Hunt.

1022
00:57:06,589 --> 00:57:10,059
Coincidentally, my daddy had
just me a beautiful

1023
00:57:10,059 --> 00:57:11,819
new twelve-gauge shotgun,

1024
00:57:11,819 --> 00:57:15,959
and I decided to take it out
duck hunting that day.

1025
00:57:15,959 --> 00:57:19,629
I had wandered deep into the blind.

1026
00:57:19,629 --> 00:57:22,469
So deep in fact that
I crossed over

1027
00:57:22,469 --> 00:57:26,509
into the property where
the coon huntin' was being held.

1028
00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:31,709
I had this beautiful mallard in
my sights, took aim, and fired!

1029
00:57:33,109 --> 00:57:35,109
And there was this cry of pain.

1030
00:57:35,109 --> 00:57:37,549
That was the night
I took home my husband.

1031
00:57:37,549 --> 00:57:40,489
The relationship only lasted three months

1032
00:57:40,489 --> 00:57:41,835
until Grant died of lead poisoning.

1033
00:57:41,919 --> 00:57:44,089
I'd have been put away for life too,

1034
00:57:44,089 --> 00:57:47,629
but they never could find
all them damn pellets.

1035
00:57:47,629 --> 00:57:49,699
I made a vow that day

1036
00:57:49,699 --> 00:57:52,699
that I would never, ever

1037
00:57:52,699 --> 00:57:56,639
use lead buckshot again.

1038
00:57:56,639 --> 00:58:00,199
So you see.
We are a tribe.

1039
00:58:36,839 --> 00:58:38,539
I can't believe you caught that.

1040
00:58:38,539 --> 00:58:41,249
Just quick reflexes,
I guess.

1041
00:58:41,249 --> 00:58:44,509
I better get a screw to fix this.

1042
00:58:46,819 --> 00:58:49,019
Oh, my God.
He is gorgeous.

1043
00:58:49,019 --> 00:58:51,259
What are you waiting for?
He's prime cut.

1044
00:58:51,259 --> 00:58:53,289
I don't know, dude.

1045
00:58:53,289 --> 00:58:56,159
That meet needs to be played and laid.

1046
00:58:56,159 --> 00:58:59,889
Here we go. It should
only take a few seconds.

1047
00:59:05,039 --> 00:59:07,559
Here, let me help you.

1048
00:59:09,239 --> 00:59:11,709
What you wanna do is

1049
00:59:11,709 --> 00:59:13,549
put the screw inside the hole

1050
00:59:13,549 --> 00:59:14,949
nice and smoothly and then--

1051
00:59:18,119 --> 00:59:19,865
Sounds like you really know
what you're talking about.

1052
00:59:19,949 --> 00:59:23,559
Yeah, I, um, aced shop in high school.

1053
00:59:23,559 --> 00:59:24,789
Really?

1054
00:59:24,789 --> 00:59:27,129
Pretty weird for a girl, huh?

1055
00:59:27,129 --> 00:59:28,629
Hello?

1056
00:59:28,629 --> 00:59:29,845
Are you gonna take care of business,

1057
00:59:29,929 --> 00:59:31,729
or are we moving on here?

1058
00:59:31,729 --> 00:59:33,029
Just give me a minute!

1059
00:59:33,029 --> 00:59:36,769
Um, so,
I haven't seen you around.

1060
00:59:36,769 --> 00:59:39,269
Yeah, I just moved here from Santa Cruz.

1061
00:59:39,269 --> 00:59:41,339
Welcome to the neighborhood.

1062
00:59:41,339 --> 00:59:42,839
You should come by.

1063
00:59:42,839 --> 00:59:45,009
We, we just live up the block so...

1064
00:59:45,009 --> 00:59:48,919
Yeah. I-I'd love to.
Let me get your number.

1065
00:59:52,349 --> 00:59:54,249
I really like your place.

1066
00:59:54,249 --> 00:59:55,859
Thanks.

1067
00:59:55,859 --> 00:59:59,729
How do you afford a place like this?

1068
00:59:59,729 --> 01:00:01,889
My dad covers the rent.

1069
01:00:01,889 --> 01:00:03,299
Geez.

1070
01:00:03,299 --> 01:00:05,259
Dad must be a cool guy.

1071
01:00:05,259 --> 01:00:07,229
I think he's just trying to buy me off.

1072
01:00:07,229 --> 01:00:09,999
Oh, you and your dad don't get along?

1073
01:00:09,999 --> 01:00:13,639
He left my mom for a
twenty-two-year-old bimbo.

1074
01:00:13,639 --> 01:00:17,079
Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.

1075
01:00:17,079 --> 01:00:19,179
What about your family?

1076
01:00:19,179 --> 01:00:22,679
My parents are insane.

1077
01:00:22,679 --> 01:00:26,389
Total hippies, uh,
they live on the beach in Kauai.

1078
01:00:26,389 --> 01:00:28,989
They don't have much but, hey,

1079
01:00:28,989 --> 01:00:31,119
at least they're still in love.

1080
01:00:31,119 --> 01:00:34,789
It seems tough to make
marriages work these days.

1081
01:00:34,789 --> 01:00:36,115
It's like we're all programmed to believe

1082
01:00:36,199 --> 01:00:38,869
that we have to get married and have kids.

1083
01:00:38,869 --> 01:00:41,229
Otherwise we're doomed.

1084
01:00:41,229 --> 01:00:43,369
I don't know.

1085
01:00:43,369 --> 01:00:45,839
I kind of like the idea
of finding true love.

1086
01:00:45,839 --> 01:00:49,409
I guess I'm just old fashioned.

1087
01:00:49,409 --> 01:00:55,379
Like you know when you go to
sleep thinking about somebody,

1088
01:00:55,379 --> 01:00:58,035
and they're the first thing on your mind
when you wake up in the morning?

1089
01:00:58,119 --> 01:01:01,889
Yeah?

1090
01:01:01,889 --> 01:01:05,419
What do you crave
after a day on the slopes?

1091
01:01:05,419 --> 01:01:07,859
Babes.

1092
01:01:07,859 --> 01:01:09,359
- Is that you?
- Oh, no.

1093
01:01:09,359 --> 01:01:11,999
Brews.

1094
01:01:11,999 --> 01:01:15,069
Brew Brothers, it's good, ya?

1095
01:01:15,069 --> 01:01:17,115
Brew Brothers Beer is not
responsible for good behavior,

1096
01:01:17,199 --> 01:01:18,685
reckless acts, or excessive intoxication.

1097
01:01:18,769 --> 01:01:21,669
I didn't know you were an actress.

1098
01:01:21,669 --> 01:01:24,909
That's not acting.
That's embarrassing.

1099
01:01:24,909 --> 01:01:26,079
I liked it.

1100
01:01:26,079 --> 01:01:28,079
You should be proud of it.

1101
01:01:28,079 --> 01:01:30,749
Why? I'm wearing a bikini selling beer.

1102
01:01:30,749 --> 01:01:32,849
It's every guy's dream, right?

1103
01:01:32,849 --> 01:01:34,789
No, I, I, mean it.

1104
01:01:34,789 --> 01:01:36,819
I, I really am.
I'm proud of you.

1105
01:01:36,819 --> 01:01:38,359
You're proud of me.

1106
01:01:38,359 --> 01:01:40,275
It's not like I'm saving
the world or anything.

1107
01:01:40,359 --> 01:01:43,029
What about you? What about
your career aspirations,

1108
01:01:43,029 --> 01:01:45,299
Surf Shop boy?

1109
01:01:45,299 --> 01:01:47,029
Whoa.

1110
01:01:47,029 --> 01:01:50,339
I can see you don't take
compliments very well.

1111
01:01:50,339 --> 01:01:54,969
Look, you're getting
defensive for no reason.

1112
01:01:54,969 --> 01:01:56,809
Let's– let's not ruin this.

1113
01:01:56,809 --> 01:01:59,449
You're like the coolest girl
I've ever met.

1114
01:01:59,449 --> 01:02:00,909
I should go.

1115
01:02:09,219 --> 01:02:11,359
- What's wrong?
- I just...

1116
01:02:11,359 --> 01:02:13,759
I think we should take things slow.

1117
01:02:13,759 --> 01:02:16,959
- I don't--
- I don't want to do
anything that we might regret.

1118
01:02:16,959 --> 01:02:19,399
You would regret making out with me.

1119
01:02:19,399 --> 01:02:23,469
No, I would love to make out
with you. Believe me.

1120
01:02:23,469 --> 01:02:27,209
- I just--
- I just think we should
get to know each other better.

1121
01:02:27,209 --> 01:02:30,209
Isn't that how we get to know each other?

1122
01:02:30,209 --> 01:02:31,479
I'm serious.

1123
01:02:31,479 --> 01:02:34,849
Wow. Wow.

1124
01:02:34,849 --> 01:02:37,919
Okay. Yeah,
I just got shot down.

1125
01:02:37,919 --> 01:02:40,389
Usually guys just want to get me into bed.

1126
01:02:40,389 --> 01:02:45,349
I'm sure most guys do,
but I'm not like most guys.

1127
01:02:49,799 --> 01:02:52,499
I realized a guy has to be good to talk to.

1128
01:02:52,499 --> 01:02:54,829
It's not just about the sex.

1129
01:02:54,829 --> 01:02:58,339
Me and Tyler connected on an
intellectual level,

1130
01:02:58,339 --> 01:03:00,039
after you woke up.

1131
01:03:00,039 --> 01:03:02,069
I'm glad we didn't sleep together.

1132
01:03:02,069 --> 01:03:04,909
Maybe a little make out session
is all I really needed.

1133
01:03:04,909 --> 01:03:08,309
Right.

1134
01:03:08,309 --> 01:03:11,919
That Tyler hit was so easy.

1135
01:03:11,919 --> 01:03:13,949
I mean we didn't even plan anything.

1136
01:03:13,949 --> 01:03:15,305
It's like he just fell out of the sky.

1137
01:03:15,389 --> 01:03:17,919
Yeah.

1138
01:03:17,919 --> 01:03:21,359
It was almost like it was meant to be.

1139
01:03:21,359 --> 01:03:25,929
So? What's our next mission?

1140
01:03:25,929 --> 01:03:28,029
What?

1141
01:03:30,169 --> 01:03:32,159
I wonder what Tyler's doing tonight.

1142
01:03:34,339 --> 01:03:37,209
Namaste.

1143
01:03:46,849 --> 01:03:49,219
Baby!

1144
01:03:49,219 --> 01:03:51,059
Hi, little sug-ums.

1145
01:03:51,059 --> 01:03:52,789
Sug-ums. Sug-ums.
Sug-ums. Sug-ums.

1146
01:03:54,889 --> 01:03:58,029
You are just in time for the game.

1147
01:03:58,029 --> 01:04:00,929
I made us Mojitos with the
little fresh mint,

1148
01:04:00,929 --> 01:04:02,839
just the way you like it,

1149
01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:06,139
and, oh, dinner's gonna be
in forty-five minutes.

1150
01:04:06,139 --> 01:04:07,755
So in case you're hungry beforehand,

1151
01:04:07,839 --> 01:04:11,339
I got some cheese
and crackers and bruschetta.

1152
01:04:11,339 --> 01:04:14,309
Whatever you say, babe.

1153
01:04:31,899 --> 01:04:33,185
You all right in there, babe?

1154
01:04:33,269 --> 01:04:34,929
I'm fine!

1155
01:04:37,299 --> 01:04:39,429
I'll be there in a minute!

1156
01:04:45,439 --> 01:04:47,309
Thank you.

1157
01:04:47,309 --> 01:04:49,379
So, what's for dinner?

1158
01:04:49,379 --> 01:04:51,249
Oh, I just ordered us a pizza.

1159
01:05:13,069 --> 01:05:15,009
How did the oven door get open?

1160
01:05:15,009 --> 01:05:17,599
Aaah!

1161
01:05:28,319 --> 01:05:30,149
Check out the street meat.

1162
01:05:32,429 --> 01:05:34,459
All right, I want you to watch this.

1163
01:05:34,459 --> 01:05:35,959
I'm gonna prove to you

1164
01:05:35,959 --> 01:05:39,329
that a woman can get any man she wants.

1165
01:05:39,329 --> 01:05:42,069
This is not a test of beauty.

1166
01:05:42,069 --> 01:05:44,299
This is a test of confidence.

1167
01:05:48,269 --> 01:05:49,439
Put this on.

1168
01:05:53,579 --> 01:05:54,979
All right.
Move it, girl.

1169
01:06:10,529 --> 01:06:12,059
Woo hoo!

1170
01:06:12,059 --> 01:06:16,069
You boys like what you see?

1171
01:06:16,069 --> 01:06:20,069
It's got tits.
I say we go for it.

1172
01:06:20,069 --> 01:06:21,085
Hey, ladies.

1173
01:06:21,169 --> 01:06:22,709
What are you up to tonight?

1174
01:06:22,709 --> 01:06:24,639
You guys wanna make plans with us?

1175
01:06:24,639 --> 01:06:27,109
Why don't you boys jump in the back

1176
01:06:27,109 --> 01:06:28,679
and we'll take you for a ride.

1177
01:06:28,679 --> 01:06:32,179
Sounds, uh, sounds good to me. I'm Brad.

1178
01:06:32,179 --> 01:06:33,605
This is my buddy Chet, and Steve.

1179
01:06:33,689 --> 01:06:35,219
- Hey.
- Hey.

1180
01:06:35,219 --> 01:06:37,559
What are you guys waiting for?
Let's go.

1181
01:06:37,559 --> 01:06:40,529
I tell ya what. Let's go crack
these brews up at that park.

1182
01:06:40,529 --> 01:06:42,029
How's that sound?

1183
01:06:42,029 --> 01:06:43,529
Now you're talkin' my language.

1184
01:06:43,529 --> 01:06:45,159
I knew I liked you.

1185
01:06:45,159 --> 01:06:47,459
- Uh-huh.
- All right.

1186
01:06:57,409 --> 01:06:59,079
All right. Party!

1187
01:06:59,079 --> 01:07:01,649
Yeah!

1188
01:07:01,649 --> 01:07:04,049
Dude, what is up with these masks?

1189
01:07:04,049 --> 01:07:06,649
Who cares?
We're getting laid.

1190
01:07:06,649 --> 01:07:09,489
Is this good?

1191
01:07:09,489 --> 01:07:11,589
I'm gonna go look for some firewood.

1192
01:07:11,589 --> 01:07:13,729
You wanna come with?

1193
01:07:13,729 --> 01:07:15,489
All right.

1194
01:07:15,489 --> 01:07:17,559
You boys want play a game with me?

1195
01:07:17,559 --> 01:07:18,619
- Yeah.
- Kinky.

1196
01:07:20,369 --> 01:07:23,669
Let's sit down and relax for a bit.

1197
01:07:23,669 --> 01:07:26,139
This is a romantic spot, don't you think?

1198
01:07:30,079 --> 01:07:34,139
God, there must be
a million stars up there.

1199
01:07:36,749 --> 01:07:38,819
Isn't this fun?

1200
01:07:38,819 --> 01:07:41,389
Chet? Chet?

1201
01:07:41,389 --> 01:07:44,219
What? Yeah, Brad?

1202
01:07:46,159 --> 01:07:47,759
Oh!

1203
01:07:47,759 --> 01:07:50,459
You know, you seem like a really cool girl,

1204
01:07:52,229 --> 01:07:55,569
and a really good person.

1205
01:07:55,569 --> 01:07:58,099
You think
I'm a good person?

1206
01:07:58,099 --> 01:08:01,069
Well, you trust me enough

1207
01:08:01,069 --> 01:08:03,379
to be out here alone with you, right?

1208
01:08:03,379 --> 01:08:07,609
Usually if a person
is trusting of other people

1209
01:08:07,609 --> 01:08:10,349
it means that they're a trustworthy person.

1210
01:08:10,349 --> 01:08:11,779
You think so?

1211
01:08:11,779 --> 01:08:15,349
Uh, you trust me, right?

1212
01:08:15,349 --> 01:08:16,575
Let's go see what
Jodie is doing.

1213
01:08:16,659 --> 01:08:18,659
Would you--? Wait.
Just hold on a second.

1214
01:08:18,659 --> 01:08:20,289
Just calm down.

1215
01:08:20,289 --> 01:08:22,005
Just sit here and hang out
with me, just for a minute.

1216
01:08:22,089 --> 01:08:23,545
No, I think I should go.
Jodie is gonna worry.

1217
01:08:23,629 --> 01:08:26,729
Shh. Shh.
Just come here.

1218
01:08:26,729 --> 01:08:28,129
Let's just get out of here.

1219
01:08:28,129 --> 01:08:30,699
Ooh. Why are you in such a hurry?

1220
01:08:30,699 --> 01:08:33,169
I'm out of here.
I'm serious.

1221
01:08:35,269 --> 01:08:37,425
Why are you turning into such
a bitch all of a sudden?

1222
01:08:37,509 --> 01:08:38,595
I mean what's your problem?

1223
01:08:38,679 --> 01:08:40,509
Get off of me!

1224
01:08:40,509 --> 01:08:42,779
No little slut's gonna say no to me.

1225
01:08:42,779 --> 01:08:44,839
Watch me.

1226
01:08:48,249 --> 01:08:50,459
Thank God you're here.

1227
01:08:50,459 --> 01:08:52,219
You just learned a powerful lesson.

1228
01:08:52,219 --> 01:08:54,729
Never let the target take control.

1229
01:08:54,729 --> 01:08:58,389
You bag 'em and tag 'em right off the bat.

1230
01:09:01,229 --> 01:09:03,199
- Hey!
- Hey!

1231
01:09:03,199 --> 01:09:04,739
Get back here you crazy bitch!

1232
01:09:04,739 --> 01:09:06,139
Steve!

1233
01:09:11,779 --> 01:09:14,749
Bobby, is that you?

1234
01:09:24,419 --> 01:09:25,859
Ow!

1235
01:09:30,659 --> 01:09:33,189
This isn't funny, Bobby.

1236
01:09:41,309 --> 01:09:42,809
It's me.

1237
01:09:42,809 --> 01:09:43,909
Jesus.

1238
01:09:43,909 --> 01:09:45,255
You scared the crap out of me.

1239
01:09:45,339 --> 01:09:47,249
I lost my key.

1240
01:09:47,249 --> 01:09:49,739
Get in here.

1241
01:09:55,819 --> 01:09:58,349
Shh.

1242
01:10:18,409 --> 01:10:20,679
Where the hell were you?

1243
01:10:20,679 --> 01:10:22,249
I was on a night op.

1244
01:10:22,249 --> 01:10:23,949
- All by yourself?
- Yeah.

1245
01:10:23,949 --> 01:10:27,389
Jodie taught me a few things.

1246
01:10:29,219 --> 01:10:31,205
You wouldn't have noticed
because you've been too busy

1247
01:10:31,289 --> 01:10:33,659
with your home economics project.

1248
01:10:33,659 --> 01:10:36,399
I'm really starting to worry about you.

1249
01:10:36,399 --> 01:10:38,829
Oh, really?

1250
01:10:38,829 --> 01:10:41,869
Because I think it's you
we should be worried about.

1251
01:10:41,869 --> 01:10:44,469
You know what?
I'm going to bed.

1252
01:10:44,469 --> 01:10:46,585
Just don't track any more
of your dirt in here.

1253
01:10:46,669 --> 01:10:47,625
I cleaned up all day.

1254
01:10:47,709 --> 01:10:49,369
Really?

1255
01:10:49,369 --> 01:10:51,479
Because I, uh, think you missed a spot.

1256
01:10:51,479 --> 01:10:52,539
Where?

1257
01:10:52,539 --> 01:10:54,669
My ass.

1258
01:10:58,279 --> 01:11:01,379
I think somebody else already
cleaned up in there tonight.

1259
01:11:05,459 --> 01:11:09,029
Touché.

1260
01:11:09,029 --> 01:11:12,699
You and I are going
on a series of missions.

1261
01:11:12,699 --> 01:11:14,769
They are training exercises

1262
01:11:14,769 --> 01:11:16,939
to build confidence and improve skill.

1263
01:11:16,939 --> 01:11:19,369
I will videotape each and every encounter

1264
01:11:19,369 --> 01:11:21,409
so that we can track your progress

1265
01:11:21,409 --> 01:11:22,825
on the techniques
I will instruct you in.

1266
01:11:22,909 --> 01:11:26,549
We begin with basic compliance techniques.

1267
01:11:28,449 --> 01:11:29,849
I am ready.

1268
01:11:31,419 --> 01:11:32,705
The first male that we have spotted here

1269
01:11:32,789 --> 01:11:34,689
at this lakeside location

1270
01:11:34,689 --> 01:11:37,559
looks like a stray who has
ventured away from his pack.

1271
01:11:37,559 --> 01:11:40,489
He is obviously intoxicated

1272
01:11:40,489 --> 01:11:42,689
and is unaware of his surroundings.

1273
01:11:42,689 --> 01:11:47,729
The lioness on her late
night prowl gains ground.

1274
01:11:47,729 --> 01:11:50,499
Stealthfully, she moves through the night

1275
01:11:50,499 --> 01:11:54,869
waiting for the perfect time to pounce.

1276
01:11:54,869 --> 01:11:57,899
And the lioness takes her prey.

1277
01:12:00,509 --> 01:12:02,339
Whoa!

1278
01:12:30,909 --> 01:12:33,049
Lock in on the tall drink of water.

1279
01:12:33,049 --> 01:12:34,839
- You got him?
- Uh-huh.

1280
01:12:42,989 --> 01:12:45,819
Nice shot, ace.

1281
01:12:48,689 --> 01:12:52,129
I am so proud of you.

1282
01:12:52,129 --> 01:12:55,969
You've come such a long way.

1283
01:12:55,969 --> 01:12:58,469
Thanks, boss.

1284
01:13:10,949 --> 01:13:13,949
Oh.

1285
01:13:15,419 --> 01:13:17,119
What the hell?
What time is it?

1286
01:13:22,089 --> 01:13:24,399
Open the door, Alexis.
It's an emergency.

1287
01:13:24,399 --> 01:13:27,799
It's always an emergency
with you, Bobby. Isn't it?

1288
01:13:27,799 --> 01:13:30,799
You're a psycho, Bobby.
Just go away.

1289
01:13:30,799 --> 01:13:33,669
I'm not in the mood to deal
with one of your episodes.

1290
01:13:36,579 --> 01:13:38,009
Picked her up at the station.

1291
01:13:38,009 --> 01:13:40,779
Apparently she was
harassing some local patrons

1292
01:13:40,779 --> 01:13:45,719
at a bar brandishing this.

1293
01:13:53,759 --> 01:13:56,559
Jesus, Lindsay.
Get in here!

1294
01:13:59,699 --> 01:14:01,045
Are you ready to talk about this, Lindsay?

1295
01:14:01,129 --> 01:14:02,499
Yes.

1296
01:14:02,499 --> 01:14:04,039
Listen, I'm going to bed.

1297
01:14:04,039 --> 01:14:06,469
I'll call and check
on you guys in the morning.

1298
01:14:06,469 --> 01:14:07,609
What's goin' on?

1299
01:14:07,609 --> 01:14:10,739
Who the hell is this?

1300
01:14:10,739 --> 01:14:13,079
Take it easy, Bobby.
It's my boyfriend, Tyler.

1301
01:14:13,079 --> 01:14:14,649
Let me guess.

1302
01:14:14,649 --> 01:14:16,565
You woke up after being knocked unconscious

1303
01:14:16,649 --> 01:14:19,465
with a face full of cleavage
and a boner that wouldn't quit.

1304
01:14:19,549 --> 01:14:21,589
How'd you know?

1305
01:14:21,589 --> 01:14:22,959
Alexis didn't tell you?

1306
01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:25,719
That's how she gets all her guys.

1307
01:14:25,719 --> 01:14:28,529
It's not enough she'll rip your heart out.

1308
01:14:28,529 --> 01:14:30,829
No, she's gotta knock you
unconscious first.

1309
01:14:30,829 --> 01:14:34,529
Yeah, I used to be a man once,
until I lost my sack to her.

1310
01:14:35,799 --> 01:14:38,169
I know about everything.

1311
01:14:40,039 --> 01:14:42,509
- Is that true?
- Yes?

1312
01:14:42,509 --> 01:14:45,679
But you're the last guy
I knocked out.

1313
01:14:45,679 --> 01:14:48,079
I swear.

1314
01:14:48,079 --> 01:14:50,049
I quit when I met you.

1315
01:14:50,049 --> 01:14:51,919
Tyler, I love you.

1316
01:14:51,919 --> 01:14:53,849
You know, Alexis?

1317
01:14:53,849 --> 01:14:56,959
You really are a pretty good actress.

1318
01:14:56,959 --> 01:14:58,619
You fooled me.

1319
01:15:03,099 --> 01:15:06,159
You ladies have a wonderful evening.

1320
01:15:11,899 --> 01:15:15,039
Well, maybe if you hadn't had gone

1321
01:15:15,039 --> 01:15:17,739
all psycho
Stepford-wife on me,

1322
01:15:17,739 --> 01:15:20,009
then maybe I wouldn't
have gone out on my own.

1323
01:15:20,009 --> 01:15:21,665
Well, maybe if knew how
to communicate better,

1324
01:15:21,749 --> 01:15:23,865
I would've known what kind
of trouble you were in

1325
01:15:23,949 --> 01:15:26,589
and stopped you from going
all "Fatal Attraction."

1326
01:15:26,589 --> 01:15:29,689
Well, maybe if you hadn't had
fallen for that guy so fast

1327
01:15:29,689 --> 01:15:32,559
I would have felt like I still
had a friend to turn to.

1328
01:15:32,559 --> 01:15:34,289
Puh-lease.
Give me a break.

1329
01:15:34,289 --> 01:15:36,599
If you were half the friend
I was to you--

1330
01:15:36,599 --> 01:15:38,659
- No, you!
- You!

1331
01:15:38,659 --> 01:15:41,569
You!

1332
01:15:42,599 --> 01:15:43,269
You more!

1333
01:15:45,869 --> 01:15:49,209
Seriously, Linds, we need to talk.

1334
01:15:49,209 --> 01:15:51,579
Maybe we're acting out in aggressive ways

1335
01:15:51,579 --> 01:15:53,009
to cover up deeper issues.

1336
01:15:53,009 --> 01:15:55,149
What issues?

1337
01:15:55,149 --> 01:15:58,049
Why did we start knocking
guys out in the first place?

1338
01:15:58,049 --> 01:16:00,589
Because we're good at kicking ass?

1339
01:16:00,589 --> 01:16:02,865
We've been calling these guys
out for being momma's boys

1340
01:16:02,949 --> 01:16:05,235
when the whole time we're
taking out our anger on them

1341
01:16:05,319 --> 01:16:06,805
'cause we're pissed off at our dads.

1342
01:16:06,889 --> 01:16:09,959
What do our dads have to do with this?

1343
01:16:09,959 --> 01:16:13,229
That emotionally crippling lying
cheating bastard

1344
01:16:13,229 --> 01:16:14,999
has nothing to do with the fact

1345
01:16:14,999 --> 01:16:17,839
that I knock guys over the head
and have sex with them.

1346
01:16:17,839 --> 01:16:20,339
Lindsay, ever since your father left,

1347
01:16:20,339 --> 01:16:23,039
you've been like the bottomless pit of men.

1348
01:16:23,039 --> 01:16:27,049
I just want to see you
respect yourself more.

1349
01:16:33,589 --> 01:16:35,849
I thought I could make
Tyler love me

1350
01:16:35,849 --> 01:16:38,289
by acting like somebody I'm not!

1351
01:16:38,289 --> 01:16:41,689
And maybe if I acknowledged
that I had a problem

1352
01:16:41,689 --> 01:16:44,599
then I could maybe do something about it.

1353
01:16:44,599 --> 01:16:45,799
Come here.

1354
01:16:45,799 --> 01:16:48,859
Give me some sugar.

1355
01:16:57,879 --> 01:17:02,849
Hey! Daddy's little girl, welcome.

1356
01:17:02,849 --> 01:17:04,839
Welcome.

1357
01:17:07,789 --> 01:17:10,219
So what do you think of the new pad?

1358
01:17:10,219 --> 01:17:11,289
It's new.

1359
01:17:11,289 --> 01:17:12,619
Yeah, it is,

1360
01:17:12,619 --> 01:17:14,889
unlike that dump you grew up in.

1361
01:17:14,889 --> 01:17:16,289
What do you mean?

1362
01:17:16,289 --> 01:17:18,359
Well, I mean this is nice and new.

1363
01:17:18,359 --> 01:17:21,029
Old, old things are bad.

1364
01:17:21,029 --> 01:17:22,769
New, uh, new is good.
Believe me.

1365
01:17:22,769 --> 01:17:25,139
Speaking of new, honey, you remember Shari.

1366
01:17:25,139 --> 01:17:26,299
Hi, Alexis.

1367
01:17:26,299 --> 01:17:28,639
I am so glad you could join us.

1368
01:17:28,639 --> 01:17:31,739
I made your dad's favorite casserole.

1369
01:17:31,739 --> 01:17:36,719
Isn't that Mom's recipe, Dad?

1370
01:17:36,719 --> 01:17:38,219
Yeah? Who?

1371
01:17:38,219 --> 01:17:40,119
- Mom?
- What? Uh...

1372
01:17:40,119 --> 01:17:42,249
Honey, you know what?

1373
01:17:42,249 --> 01:17:43,835
I'm gonna show, uh, Alexis my office.

1374
01:17:43,919 --> 01:17:44,935
She's never seen my office.

1375
01:17:45,019 --> 01:17:47,389
Have fun!

1376
01:17:47,389 --> 01:17:48,989
I'm cooking.

1377
01:17:48,989 --> 01:17:52,099
Well, well, well.

1378
01:17:52,099 --> 01:17:53,829
See that picture?

1379
01:17:53,829 --> 01:17:55,145
Funny story, that's
the moment Shari and I met.

1380
01:17:55,229 --> 01:17:57,069
I think it was...

1381
01:17:57,069 --> 01:17:59,655
Remember that week your mom went
to Europe with her girlfriends?

1382
01:17:59,739 --> 01:18:01,939
It was--it was that very week.

1383
01:18:01,939 --> 01:18:06,409
I'm really glad you came
over for dinner, finally.

1384
01:18:06,409 --> 01:18:09,249
Because I want you to feel
part of this family too.

1385
01:18:09,249 --> 01:18:11,679
Look, Dad, I need to talk
to you about this.

1386
01:18:11,679 --> 01:18:14,949
My life has been spinning out of control,

1387
01:18:14,949 --> 01:18:18,459
and I felt like
I really needed my dad.

1388
01:18:18,459 --> 01:18:20,689
Okay. All right.

1389
01:18:20,689 --> 01:18:23,005
I'll write you a check.
How much do you need your dad?

1390
01:18:23,089 --> 01:18:25,899
No, that's not gonna fix it this time.

1391
01:18:25,899 --> 01:18:29,069
When you left mom it felt
like you deserted me too.

1392
01:18:29,069 --> 01:18:33,269
Well, I--

1393
01:18:33,269 --> 01:18:37,239
I– I always thought you were
so strong and independent.

1394
01:18:37,239 --> 01:18:39,379
- I didn't think you needed–
- Dad.

1395
01:18:39,379 --> 01:18:42,009
You're only as strong
as your support system.

1396
01:18:42,009 --> 01:18:45,179
Well, I--I–

1397
01:18:45,179 --> 01:18:46,989
I never meant to hurt you, honey.

1398
01:18:46,989 --> 01:18:49,989
I mean I just knew my life was half over,

1399
01:18:49,989 --> 01:18:53,329
and I wanted to have fun
for the rest of it.

1400
01:18:53,329 --> 01:18:55,189
Look, I get it.
You wanna have fun.

1401
01:18:55,189 --> 01:18:57,129
I want you to have fun.

1402
01:18:57,129 --> 01:18:59,299
Just don't be so selfish.

1403
01:18:59,299 --> 01:19:01,929
You still have a daughter.

1404
01:19:01,929 --> 01:19:04,329
Don't forget about me.

1405
01:19:07,509 --> 01:19:12,879
You're right.
You're right.

1406
01:19:12,879 --> 01:19:14,439
I'm sorry.

1407
01:19:20,749 --> 01:19:22,189
You need a hug.

1408
01:19:42,869 --> 01:19:44,379
Hello?

1409
01:19:44,379 --> 01:19:47,349
- Lindsay?
- Hey, there.

1410
01:19:47,349 --> 01:19:49,209
I was wondering how your night went.

1411
01:19:49,209 --> 01:19:51,049
After I mustered all the self-control

1412
01:19:51,049 --> 01:19:54,419
I had in my body not to punch
Shari in the teeth,

1413
01:19:54,419 --> 01:19:57,489
I actually had a good
conversation with my dad.

1414
01:19:57,489 --> 01:19:59,989
I said what
I needed to say.

1415
01:19:59,989 --> 01:20:01,559
What's that noise?

1416
01:20:01,559 --> 01:20:05,429
I'm just brushing my teeth.

1417
01:20:05,429 --> 01:20:08,099
Yeah, right.
You're busted.

1418
01:20:08,099 --> 01:20:09,115
So when are you coming home?

1419
01:20:09,199 --> 01:20:10,539
Tonight.

1420
01:20:10,539 --> 01:20:13,939
I wouldn't have stayed,
but my Dad insisted.

1421
01:20:13,939 --> 01:20:15,939
Yay!

1422
01:20:15,939 --> 01:20:21,209
Because guess who gave me two
all-inclusive spa packages?

1423
01:20:21,209 --> 01:20:23,419
- Who?
- Bobby.

1424
01:20:23,419 --> 01:20:25,579
Oh, that's so awesome.

1425
01:20:25,579 --> 01:20:28,489
I am so tense.
I really need a massage.

1426
01:20:28,489 --> 01:20:30,589
Oh, yeah.
So when you get back,

1427
01:20:30,589 --> 01:20:33,459
we are gonna get the kind
of rest and relaxation

1428
01:20:33,459 --> 01:20:35,089
that we deserve.

1429
01:21:15,029 --> 01:21:16,369
Gourmet Spa, will you hold?

1430
01:21:16,369 --> 01:21:18,939
Wow. Check this place out.

1431
01:21:18,939 --> 01:21:20,969
I could get used to this.

1432
01:21:20,969 --> 01:21:23,139
May I help you ladies with anything?

1433
01:21:23,139 --> 01:21:26,039
Hi. We're here for two deluxe spa packages.

1434
01:21:26,039 --> 01:21:27,609
It's under the name Bell.

1435
01:21:27,609 --> 01:21:31,549
Let me see.

1436
01:21:34,489 --> 01:21:36,519
Yes, I have the names
Bell and Greene

1437
01:21:36,519 --> 01:21:37,959
listed for two deluxe packs.

1438
01:21:37,959 --> 01:21:40,259
What does the deluxe pack include?

1439
01:21:40,259 --> 01:21:43,229
Well, the deluxe pack includes

1440
01:21:43,229 --> 01:21:45,099
massage, facial,

1441
01:21:45,099 --> 01:21:47,129
steam, manicure, pedicure,

1442
01:21:47,129 --> 01:21:48,569
and the Foley.

1443
01:21:48,569 --> 01:21:53,139
The Foley.
Oh, you mean exfoliation.

1444
01:21:53,139 --> 01:21:55,639
No.

1445
01:21:55,639 --> 01:21:58,195
The Foley is a treatment
that we offer here at the spa.

1446
01:21:58,279 --> 01:22:00,295
We send a young male
specialist to your room

1447
01:22:00,379 --> 01:22:02,449
who's designed to suit your every need.

1448
01:22:02,449 --> 01:22:05,679
They come in adorable, athletic, and petit.

1449
01:22:05,679 --> 01:22:07,519
They're great at greasing you up

1450
01:22:07,519 --> 01:22:11,359
and working out any tensions
that you may have.

1451
01:22:11,359 --> 01:22:14,929
My axle needs some greasing
if you know what I mean.

1452
01:22:22,929 --> 01:22:25,039
Oh, I forgot to mention, um,

1453
01:22:25,039 --> 01:22:27,559
we've got these.

1454
01:22:31,139 --> 01:22:32,979
Oh.

1455
01:22:32,979 --> 01:22:35,949
You've received the
exclusive VIP invitation.

1456
01:22:35,949 --> 01:22:37,979
Bobby totally hooked us up.

1457
01:22:37,979 --> 01:22:39,079
Totally.

1458
01:22:39,079 --> 01:22:41,119
Tell you what.

1459
01:22:41,119 --> 01:22:43,065
Why don't you ladies
have a seat in our lounge

1460
01:22:43,149 --> 01:22:45,159
and somebody will be right with you

1461
01:22:45,159 --> 01:22:48,249
to take you to your treatments.

1462
01:22:54,299 --> 01:22:57,969
Lavonne, get your ass down here.

1463
01:22:57,969 --> 01:22:59,499
Okay, Lindsay.

1464
01:22:59,499 --> 01:23:01,509
Are you ready for your treatment?

1465
01:23:01,509 --> 01:23:03,739
Yes, I am ready to be pampered.

1466
01:23:03,739 --> 01:23:05,079
Yay.

1467
01:23:05,079 --> 01:23:07,009
Well, just close your eyes

1468
01:23:07,009 --> 01:23:09,709
and let yourself drift off.

1469
01:23:22,359 --> 01:23:24,599
Is that like the warm-up?

1470
01:23:24,599 --> 01:23:26,459
No, honey.
This is it.

1471
01:23:26,459 --> 01:23:30,369
Well, could I have a little
more pressure or something?

1472
01:23:30,369 --> 01:23:33,609
Child, I'm trying, but I can't
get through this layer of fat.

1473
01:23:33,609 --> 01:23:35,739
So can we please just get through this?

1474
01:23:35,739 --> 01:23:39,039
I'm sorry.
I'm just not used to it.

1475
01:23:39,039 --> 01:23:42,609
Child, we in the same boat,
and I don't even like fish.

1476
01:23:42,609 --> 01:23:45,049
Have you not tried salmon?

1477
01:23:45,049 --> 01:23:47,279
No, I prefer sausage.

1478
01:23:49,249 --> 01:23:51,689
Ah, this is nice.

1479
01:23:55,489 --> 01:23:56,479
Okay.

1480
01:23:59,699 --> 01:24:02,169
Okay.

1481
01:24:04,099 --> 01:24:07,299
Let's see what we got.

1482
01:24:13,379 --> 01:24:15,209
Oh, my God.

1483
01:24:15,209 --> 01:24:19,319
Your pores, they're like moon craters.

1484
01:24:19,319 --> 01:24:23,289
The Eagle has landed.

1485
01:24:23,289 --> 01:24:25,489
I never seen so many blackheads.

1486
01:24:25,489 --> 01:24:27,589
Oh. Oh.
Easy.

1487
01:24:27,589 --> 01:24:30,599
Um, could you, um,
do that a little softer please?

1488
01:24:30,599 --> 01:24:32,399
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did that hurt?

1489
01:24:32,399 --> 01:24:34,269
It's just your skin.

1490
01:24:34,269 --> 01:24:37,599
It's so tough like--
like leather boot.

1491
01:24:37,599 --> 01:24:40,669
I think I'm going to have
to use some special product.

1492
01:24:40,669 --> 01:24:43,809
Something to help with the aging.

1493
01:24:43,809 --> 01:24:48,179
Oh! I. Can't. Breathe.

1494
01:24:48,179 --> 01:24:50,849
Ah, that's nice and neatness.

1495
01:24:50,849 --> 01:24:52,819
Oh.

1496
01:24:52,819 --> 01:24:54,649
Oh, yes, you're gonna like this one.

1497
01:24:54,649 --> 01:24:59,159
The cooling cleansing mask, that's right.

1498
01:24:59,159 --> 01:25:01,589
That's good? Yeah? Ah.

1499
01:25:01,589 --> 01:25:03,729
Are--are you sure this is the cooling mask?

1500
01:25:03,729 --> 01:25:05,699
It's--it's starting to burn.

1501
01:25:05,699 --> 01:25:08,469
Yes, I know.
I used it once myself,

1502
01:25:08,469 --> 01:25:12,869
and it burned me so bad I
promised never to use it again.

1503
01:25:12,869 --> 01:25:15,529
Get this stuff off of me!

1504
01:25:17,739 --> 01:25:22,709
Now it's time for your
Dead Sea kelp body mask.

1505
01:25:23,879 --> 01:25:25,419
Too cold.

1506
01:25:25,419 --> 01:25:28,789
Could you heat it up?

1507
01:25:28,789 --> 01:25:32,759
Hold still.

1508
01:25:32,759 --> 01:25:38,159
Easy there.

1509
01:25:38,159 --> 01:25:41,329
I can feel my bone.

1510
01:25:47,209 --> 01:25:50,239
Ow! What is this, an interrogation?

1511
01:25:50,239 --> 01:25:52,639
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did that hurt?

1512
01:25:52,639 --> 01:25:55,779
See, this is just to remove
the bacterias from the skin.

1513
01:25:55,779 --> 01:25:57,479
Ah! Ow!

1514
01:25:57,479 --> 01:25:58,735
What do you have that thing cranked up to?

1515
01:25:58,819 --> 01:26:01,419
It's on max.
It's, um--

1516
01:26:01,419 --> 01:26:03,519
There can be no beauty without pain.

1517
01:26:03,519 --> 01:26:05,759
You know we offer laser hair removal.

1518
01:26:05,759 --> 01:26:07,889
I thought I'd mention it since I see

1519
01:26:07,889 --> 01:26:09,545
some little whiskers coming in here.

1520
01:26:09,629 --> 01:26:11,629
- Whiskers?
- It's bad.

1521
01:26:11,629 --> 01:26:13,669
Bleaching is not doing it for you, no.

1522
01:26:13,669 --> 01:26:15,399
Ack!

1523
01:26:15,399 --> 01:26:18,499
Ooh. Ah.

1524
01:26:19,939 --> 01:26:22,709
Um, oh, I'm sorry.
I wasn't looking.

1525
01:26:22,709 --> 01:26:24,839
I'm sorry.
I wasn't looking.

1526
01:26:24,839 --> 01:26:27,179
I'm looking now.

1527
01:26:27,179 --> 01:26:28,809
Wait. Aren't you--?

1528
01:26:28,809 --> 01:26:32,349
Hertz Waters.
How are you?

1529
01:26:32,349 --> 01:26:35,589
Yes, it's me.

1530
01:26:35,589 --> 01:26:37,189
Hi! I– I know.

1531
01:26:37,189 --> 01:26:38,605
I actually auditioned
for one of your films.

1532
01:26:38,689 --> 01:26:40,729
- I don't--
- I do remember.

1533
01:26:40,729 --> 01:26:42,459
You were great. Wow.

1534
01:26:42,459 --> 01:26:43,929
I didn't get it.

1535
01:26:43,929 --> 01:26:45,799
I know.

1536
01:26:45,799 --> 01:26:48,369
I was reading a script the other day,

1537
01:26:48,369 --> 01:26:53,569
and I was thinking about
you for the lead role.

1538
01:26:53,569 --> 01:26:55,569
Wow.

1539
01:26:55,569 --> 01:26:57,209
You're offering me the lead role?

1540
01:26:57,209 --> 01:26:59,579
Maybe.

1541
01:26:59,579 --> 01:27:02,709
Uh, it's a role of someone
who's very attractive and sexy,

1542
01:27:02,709 --> 01:27:05,419
yet subtle and then aggressive.

1543
01:27:05,419 --> 01:27:06,565
There's something quiet about her,

1544
01:27:06,649 --> 01:27:08,349
and then something outlandish,

1545
01:27:08,349 --> 01:27:10,819
and there's a lot of extra
disadvantages you have,

1546
01:27:10,819 --> 01:27:13,489
not retarded but casual.

1547
01:27:13,489 --> 01:27:16,289
Uh, honest and then lying.
A cheetah.

1548
01:27:16,289 --> 01:27:18,245
Someone who doesn't
want to do and then does.

1549
01:27:18,329 --> 01:27:20,329
Protruding.
I made that up.

1550
01:27:20,329 --> 01:27:22,699
I'm gonna shoot it in one day, maybe more.

1551
01:27:22,699 --> 01:27:23,769
What do you think?

1552
01:27:23,769 --> 01:27:25,739
Oh, that sounds great.

1553
01:27:25,739 --> 01:27:27,855
Eight o'clock sounds like a good
time for us to talk,

1554
01:27:27,939 --> 01:27:31,879
the two of us, about showbiz, your career.

1555
01:27:31,879 --> 01:27:34,249
What's happening?
What didn't happen?

1556
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:35,725
What's gonna happen?
I'll take care of you.

1557
01:27:35,809 --> 01:27:38,619
I think you're fantastic.
Tonight? Eight o'clock?

1558
01:27:38,619 --> 01:27:40,419
Oh, okay, Mr. Waters.

1559
01:27:40,419 --> 01:27:43,389
Call me Hertz Waters.

1560
01:27:43,389 --> 01:27:44,789
Okay, Mr. Hertz Waters.

1561
01:27:44,789 --> 01:27:47,359
I like your tan.

1562
01:27:53,399 --> 01:27:57,339
Ah. Oh.

1563
01:27:57,339 --> 01:27:59,839
It burns.

1564
01:27:59,839 --> 01:28:02,569
Don't make me laugh.

1565
01:28:02,569 --> 01:28:04,909
I'm gonna get you, Bobby,

1566
01:28:04,909 --> 01:28:06,879
if it's the last thing I do.

1567
01:28:12,379 --> 01:28:15,919
I come here a lot.

1568
01:28:15,919 --> 01:28:19,559
To sit, read,

1569
01:28:19,559 --> 01:28:22,249
and ponder.

1570
01:28:27,059 --> 01:28:30,399
Um, is this where we're doing the audition?

1571
01:28:30,399 --> 01:28:32,529
Why, is there something wrong with that?

1572
01:28:37,539 --> 01:28:40,749
- Uh, no. I'm--
- I'm okay.

1573
01:28:40,749 --> 01:28:42,379
Cool beans.

1574
01:28:42,379 --> 01:28:46,279
Well, if you'll excuse me for a moment.

1575
01:29:01,629 --> 01:29:04,099
Oh, my God.
You're wearing a robe.

1576
01:29:04,099 --> 01:29:06,799
I know.
Isn't it fantastic?

1577
01:29:06,799 --> 01:29:07,969
Uh-uh.

1578
01:29:42,809 --> 01:29:45,109
Oh, how rude of me.

1579
01:29:49,709 --> 01:29:53,549
So, um, here's the script and, um,

1580
01:29:53,549 --> 01:29:54,505
why don't you come over here?

1581
01:29:54,589 --> 01:29:56,819
We can get started.

1582
01:30:02,689 --> 01:30:05,699
Hey, I just want you to feel relaxed.

1583
01:30:05,699 --> 01:30:07,099
What are you doing?

1584
01:30:07,099 --> 01:30:09,769
Just a little character study.

1585
01:30:09,769 --> 01:30:12,469
Um, I've never done
this kind of acting before.

1586
01:30:12,469 --> 01:30:14,709
Really?
It's called method acting.

1587
01:30:14,709 --> 01:30:17,909
Okay, yeah, um,
I'm officially creeped out.

1588
01:30:19,979 --> 01:30:22,579
You're hilarious.

1589
01:30:22,579 --> 01:30:25,949
Alexis, you make me so hot.

1590
01:30:25,949 --> 01:30:28,119
I can't hold back much longer!

1591
01:30:28,119 --> 01:30:30,789
I've had blue balls
ever since I laid eyes on you!

1592
01:30:30,789 --> 01:30:32,905
Well, blue balls are better
than black and blue balls

1593
01:30:32,989 --> 01:30:34,729
because I'm gonna kick your ass!

1594
01:30:34,729 --> 01:30:36,929
That's fantastic. Ha!

1595
01:30:36,929 --> 01:30:38,529
That's fantastic!

1596
01:30:58,849 --> 01:31:02,619
Aha! Ha! Ah.

1597
01:31:05,159 --> 01:31:06,589
Let's see.

1598
01:31:06,589 --> 01:31:09,229
No, I think you do it the other way.

1599
01:31:09,229 --> 01:31:11,199
- This way?
- You, you--no. Wait.

1600
01:31:11,199 --> 01:31:13,099
What am I saying?
Help!

1601
01:31:13,099 --> 01:31:14,599
Help!

1602
01:31:14,599 --> 01:31:16,899
Hey, you!
Get away from my daughter.

1603
01:31:16,899 --> 01:31:18,499
What?

1604
01:31:18,499 --> 01:31:21,069
Yeah. Whoa!

1605
01:31:21,069 --> 01:31:22,609
You're goin' down.

1606
01:31:22,609 --> 01:31:23,979
Are you okay, honey?

1607
01:31:23,979 --> 01:31:25,609
Yeah, we're just getting started.

1608
01:31:25,609 --> 01:31:28,809
Oh, we are?
Ouch!

1609
01:31:28,809 --> 01:31:31,579
I love you!
I love you!

1610
01:31:31,579 --> 01:31:32,949
Ow! Okay. All right.

1611
01:31:32,949 --> 01:31:35,649
Hey. Hi. How are you?

1612
01:31:35,649 --> 01:31:37,135
Let's go.
Your ride is waiting for you.

1613
01:31:37,219 --> 01:31:39,619
- Time to go.
- You coming?

1614
01:31:39,619 --> 01:31:41,259
I am really embarrassed.

1615
01:31:41,259 --> 01:31:43,105
No, no, no.
You shouldn't be embarrassed.

1616
01:31:43,189 --> 01:31:45,659
I'm the one who should be embarrassed.

1617
01:31:45,659 --> 01:31:47,129
I made an ass out of myself.

1618
01:31:47,129 --> 01:31:50,169
I have not acted like a father,
and I apologize.

1619
01:31:50,169 --> 01:31:51,969
I've been a complete fool.

1620
01:31:51,969 --> 01:31:54,669
I've let you down,
or you never would've been here.

1621
01:31:54,669 --> 01:31:57,169
I give you my word this
will never happen again

1622
01:31:57,169 --> 01:31:59,839
because I'm always gonna be there for you.

1623
01:31:59,839 --> 01:32:02,209
I– Please accept my apology.

1624
01:32:05,779 --> 01:32:07,589
I love you, Dad.

1625
01:32:07,589 --> 01:32:09,779
I love you too, honey.

1626
01:32:11,219 --> 01:32:12,619
I broke up with Shari.

1627
01:32:12,619 --> 01:32:14,929
- Really?
- Yeah, she--

1628
01:32:14,929 --> 01:32:18,699
She wasn't too excited either so, yeah.

1629
01:32:18,699 --> 01:32:20,545
So I guess you guys can still be friends.

1630
01:32:20,629 --> 01:32:23,629
And I apologized to your mom too.

1631
01:32:23,629 --> 01:32:25,955
It's gonna take a little longer,
I think, with her,

1632
01:32:26,039 --> 01:32:30,039
but we're gonna go to Hawaii
and talk, or whatever.

1633
01:32:30,039 --> 01:32:32,709
The therapist says
that we need to, you know,

1634
01:32:32,709 --> 01:32:34,179
spice it up a little bit.

1635
01:32:34,179 --> 01:32:36,809
So I was thinking,
I'll take these.

1636
01:32:36,809 --> 01:32:39,119
You know, see what happens.

1637
01:32:39,119 --> 01:32:40,935
I guess it's not a hundred
percent my fault,

1638
01:32:41,019 --> 01:32:43,719
but I, you know, did what I did.

1639
01:32:43,719 --> 01:32:45,035
It's like fifty-one/forty-nine.

1640
01:32:45,119 --> 01:32:47,289
So I'll use these on your mom and see.

1641
01:32:47,289 --> 01:32:49,629
Dad, that's really inappropriate.

1642
01:32:49,629 --> 01:32:52,515
Yeah, it's gonna take me a while
to be a perfect dad, and listen.

1643
01:32:52,599 --> 01:32:54,245
Listen, don't tell your mom
about the midget, okay?

1644
01:32:54,329 --> 01:32:57,029
- I won't.
- Let's get out of here.

1645
01:33:02,739 --> 01:33:04,139
Cheers.

1646
01:33:04,139 --> 01:33:06,909
To the end of that chapter of our lives.

1647
01:33:06,909 --> 01:33:10,209
And here's to writing the next chapter.

1648
01:33:15,849 --> 01:33:17,649
Whoo! Hoo hoo hoo!

1649
01:37:54,869 --> 01:37:57,839
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